Our expert says:
Clinginess is indeed a real problem within many relationships. And its not just that it can be very annoying to the person getting clung to, as such needines is unsettling, but it makes your own happiness, which really must be your own responsibility and something you can generate within yourself, a hostage to other people - letting someone else, her in this case, have the power to make you feel good or bad. And wanting her to talk with nobody but you, well, that sort of possessiveness is also very bothersome to any partner, as such inappropriate jealousy always leads to problems. You're so right, that when one tries so desperately to avoid losing someone, you may well actually push them away.
Obviously, cousnelling would be the best idea, as it will help deal with not merely these problem behaviours, but also lack of self-esteem and self-confidence, and other relevant issues.
You have already made the first, essential step, bu recognizing the problem. Without that, nothing could have helped. Now work with a counsellor on sorting this out, and you can find happiness and secure relationships.
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