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Question
Posted by: Hesti | 2011/05/26

Relationships

Good day Doc.
On one of my prevouis posts the below was part of your reply: " Its interesting and probably relevant if you are feeling you''re being pushed, if this feeling is based on how he has been behaving towarsds you, rather than purely on your own gloomy expectations or interpretations" 

I had a good and hard look if it is just my interpretations.
I recalled that during the evening he entered my personal space way too many times.

Since we met again last weekend we communicated by sms. Today he invited me to his brothers farm for this weekend.
1. I do not really know him and is far from ready to meet his family
2. We hardly know each other and he is already inviting me away for a weekend?
Is it possible that I am just being difficult? My instint is telling me that he is moving too fast and that he might just want something that I am not willing to give away freely (sex).

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Of course it's POSSIBLE you're just being difficul, but it seems rather unlikely. It does indeed sound as though he is moving too fast and may indeed be srategiocally moving towards a goal of his own that isn't, at least yet, one that you share.
But unless you want to continue to wander in the dark, at some levels this will need to be discussed with him. Frankly, how do you feel about a weekend at the farm ( apart from the possibility of an offfer of or request for, sex, and how do you feel about that, too ? ) ? You could find a polite reason to refuse the weekend, or ask if you would have separate bedrooms, saying calmly that you don't want to rush things in that direction just yet.
Your instincts should bs respected. Playing it safe is usually the wisest course. If he genuinely likes you, choosing not to go on this weekend should not end the relatonship. If it does, hen that may prove that you were right

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/05/28

Of course it's POSSIBLE you're just being difficul, but it seems rather unlikely. It does indeed sound as though he is moving too fast and may indeed be srategiocally moving towards a goal of his own that isn't, at least yet, one that you share.
But unless you want to continue to wander in the dark, at some levels this will need to be discussed with him. Frankly, how do you feel about a weekend at the farm ( apart from the possibility of an offfer of or request for, sex, and how do you feel about that, too ? ) ? You could find a polite reason to refuse the weekend, or ask if you would have separate bedrooms, saying calmly that you don't want to rush things in that direction just yet.
Your instincts should bs respected. Playing it safe is usually the wisest course. If he genuinely likes you, choosing not to go on this weekend should not end the relatonship. If it does, hen that may prove that you were right

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Lauren | 2011/05/27

I don''t think it''s very wise to go away with a man you barely know to a farm that may not even exist, to visit a family that may not be real. Call me a wimp but you never know. There are some genuinely fantastic people out there and maybe he''s just so eager to introduce you to his family because he has such dreams for you and him. Buuuut if the latter is true, then he won''t mind if you explain that it sounds great to get away, but maybe you guys should get to know each other better first. Rather play it safe.

Reply to Lauren
Posted by: mikky | 2011/05/27

Youre analysing things too much. Go with what your gut is telling you. If you fancy him in that way you would know. Going away to the farm for the weekend might be a lovely idea and nobody says you HAVE to have sex with him. If youre uncomfortable with the idea, ask if there will be a seperate bedroom.

If you over analyse it, you may just push him away. Rather go with what your instincts say and if you feel he is a good guy, then give yourselves the chance to get to know each other. If you turn down every opportunity to spend time together, you may lose him.

Alternatively, if you are unsure, then go with that feeling and let him know. But then dont be surprised when he stops chasing you!

Reply to mikky

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