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Question
Posted by: CA | 2008/05/28

RELATIONSHIPS

I am a regular reader of this site and have submitted questions.
With so many adults, myself included, having relationship problems, how can one prepare ones kids for their future. I ask this as I have had avery abusive relationship 4 21yrs. my kids 18 & 13 yrs have had to bear this with me. When I think back, I cold have spared them this by leaving. Now that theyve been exposed to this, how can I assist them to prepare themselves for adulthood and also make better choices than I did. I dont want my kids to think that because their mum accepted abuse it the right think to do. Pls advise

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Our expert says:
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I agree with part of what you may be saying, that we may at times expose kids to damaging witnessing of abuse, for fear that divorce or separation itself would be more damaging ( and it isn't ). If the kids seem clearly troubled, seeing a counsellor may help. But if not, well, kids can be remarkably resilient --- and you can get into the practise of chatting with them about such issues, related to movies and shows they've seen on TV, music they like ( try listening to what they pick ) and their and your experince of abuse.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: almost mad | 2008/05/28

im sorry about your family. im glad you have good friends. I think that least if they realise that your home wasnt the norm they should be okay. but with that try to get them to talk to a counceler, or go to family counceling with them so they can deal with any anger or resentment. I have a bad temper at times and some of it comes from watching my dad fighting with my mum. goodluck

Reply to almost mad
Posted by: ca | 2008/05/28

to: almost mad

I have sent my kids to friends houses to spend weekends in order to expose them to good caring relationships.
Unfortunately due the abuse none of my family associate with me, hubby or the kids

Reply to ca
Posted by: almost mad | 2008/05/28

i think you should take them around ur familys homes to see what a good family enviroment is like. let them learn how other people treat each other. This way they might understand what a happy family life is and that what you had in your home was not the norm.

Reply to almost mad

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