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Question
Posted by: Lady-Gal | 2008/08/22

Relationship with younger (MUCH Younger)

Hi,
Okay I see you get alot of these .. sooo i guess it' s not a strange occurance. Yes .. I think I have fallen in love with a man alot younger than I am !!! like 10 years younger. Which might not have been a huge problem if we were both older .. I m 30 and he' s 20. I will not sing the song of but he' s mature and all that .. cos we get along very well and that' s the point. Here' s my problem though ... he' s mother is VERY conservative !! Which I suppose I can understand. BUT when he told her about us and me .. obviously she wasn' t tooo happy about it .. and here' s the thing .. I am to meet her now ..!! I am soo nervous and do not know how I should be around her ! I might spend the weekend .and I expect ALOT of questions from her side!! I have no idea how to handle the situation. I will most propably understand most of her concerns !! But do hope she is willing to get to know me before passing judgement on the situation.. Please just any suggestions of how to handle the situation will be welcomed .. I do not want to mess this up. I also have two kids by the way.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Fallen in love? in like ? or in lust ? Its worth distinguishing these 3 common varieties of elationship. As for meeting his mother, surely the important thing is to be yourself --- that's the you he has chosen to have a relationship with, and you don't want to give her the opportunity to reject you as phoney. Maybe early on mention that you're aware that she may have reservations, and want to put her concerns at rest. And, as you say, that you hope she will take the time to get to know you before making decisions about how she feels.

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Our users say:
Posted by: SR | 2008/08/25

I think you know the kinds of questions she is going to ask you. He is at the beginning of his life and you are a further ways down with yours, with kids and most probably a relationship or two in your past.

She wants the most for her son and will want to know that what he is getting himself into is far beyond his comprehension right now at his stage in his life.

You need to also question your own reasons for wanting to be in this relationship, how do you vision the two of you being together and going forward into the future. Its around these issues that you need to be open and honest when chatting to his mother.

Put yourself in her shoes, what if it were your son who was 20 and wanting to embark upon a relationship with a 30 year old woman with kids and history? Knowing yourself, how would you approach this 30 year old woman when meeting her for the first time.

If you approach it from this basis you will succeed in winning her over. If not it may tend to be confrontational

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