Our expert says:
Some people are awfully hard to get close to. Don't blame yourself for not having gotten close to her, face the fact that she's not accessable. Some people, especially women, are uncomfortable about physical affection but show their love in other ways ( making food, for instance ). She may have avoided you in hospital because she knew she wouldn't know what to say to you, and didn't realise that just being there would have said enough.
It may be a theme worth exploring in counselling, to achieve a more realistic recognition of her style and limitations, so you can understand each other affectionately.
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