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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2011-03-15

Relationship with my Mother

I have never had a very close relationship with my mother and my father was not around at all, I am 30 and have recently been feeling really sad about this, especially not being close to my Mother, it is not easy as she is not a very affectionate person at all, and whenever something major happens in my life its like just get over it... she lives in another city so we dont see each other just recently I had an op and she never even called me while in hospital or the day I got home called me after and said she wanted me to rest... Its like a joke to my husband he always says his the only one who cares about me, but it really hurts me lately but I dont want to make a big thing about it as she wont care anyway, how do I dael with this hurt on my own and move on so it can make me stronger?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Some people are awfully hard to get close to. Don't blame yourself for not having gotten close to her, face the fact that she's not accessable. Some people, especially women, are uncomfortable about physical affection but show their love in other ways ( making food, for instance ). She may have avoided you in hospital because she knew she wouldn't know what to say to you, and didn't realise that just being there would have said enough.
It may be a theme worth exploring in counselling, to achieve a more realistic recognition of her style and limitations, so you can understand each other affectionately.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2011-03-15

Oh wanted to add that I am usually very a strong person its just lately that I am feeling this way....

Reply to Anon
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-03-15

Some people are awfully hard to get close to. Don't blame yourself for not having gotten close to her, face the fact that she's not accessable. Some people, especially women, are uncomfortable about physical affection but show their love in other ways ( making food, for instance ). She may have avoided you in hospital because she knew she wouldn't know what to say to you, and didn't realise that just being there would have said enough.
It may be a theme worth exploring in counselling, to achieve a more realistic recognition of her style and limitations, so you can understand each other affectionately.

Reply to cybershrink

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