Posted by: Cindy | 2009-10-02

Relationship problems, dating

hI thanks for the speedy reply

forgot to also add that there were numerous issues in the first 2 years of dating when i had guy friends - PURELY PLATONIC that he overeacted to by having me cut them off completely. As a result of that when he found out about this incident, i lied to him about the details thereof knowing he would overeact. I have gone to him and owned my wrong by confessing about the lies but he still believes that there is no trust. There have been numerous incidents however were he did not provide me support I needed emotionally and told me to get someone else to confide in coz he just does not have the time to deal with me... does this change ur previous advise at all? Also we have been trying to move forward and he states he loves me and he wish he could but he cant. i believe moving forward is a choice u make and then focus on the work needed to do so. please advise

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Our expert says:
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Hmmm, lying never really helps, does it ? At most it merely postpones the over-reaction, and then usually increases it. If, as it sounds, he's a guy with very low self-esteem and insecurity, he may find it hard to trust whatever you do. I still think that couples counselling is the only likely way to manage to move forwrd.

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