Our expert says:
Some thoughts. Your comments are largely about yourself, in the sense that you write of how much your girlfriend does for you, and not about anything you do for her. She's there for you - are you there for her ? and so on. Now there's someone else available, you wonder if you were happy with your gf -if not happy, what were you ? Content ? Or using ?
The concept of "soul mate" is one of the mos damaging and dangerous around, and it's admirable that you dont want to cheat, and hesitate to hurt her. If you choose to think about it, "what if" is ALWAYS better than "what is", because it has never had any chance to go sour, to be disappointing - it's a fantast, rather than a reality. yes, indeed, there's a real isk you will end disappointed with the new gf as well. Presumably you didn't start with the present gf expecting disappointment.
If you took "the leap of faith" where would you be leaping ? From where to where ?
Would there be value in seeing a couples counselor with your present gf ? Not to find something to glue you together, but so you can each grow a bit and learn about yourselves and each other. Maybe she can learn the folly of the soulmate assumption, and to feel more confident without needing anyone else to validate her. And you might gain clarity as to what you need, what you have to give, and what you really want
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