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Question
Posted by: Dorothy | 2010/01/07

Relationship problems

My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for the past 3 and a half years and we have been living together for 3 years. It has had its ups and downs. He uses my cell just like I use his cell, I found a video on his cell where he is recording a woman and he basically tells the lady he wants to sleep with her. I confronted him and he says he and his friend were joking with people.
I am at a point where I don' t know what to believe or trust. He says she is a complete stranger and it was just a joke. He thinks there is nothing wrong with what he has done. How do I know that he has not slept with this woman?
Is there any person that offers free counselling in pretoria?

Please help

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Why don't some people realize that these are truly lousy jokes, even when they are actally intended to be jokes ? And who makes that sort of "joke" with a complete stranger ? He'd be likely to get his face slapped or be arrested !
Nobody else can tell you he did not sleep with this woman, or try to. And counselling would not solve that problem - only communication between you may clarify the situation. And free counselling is very rare, and limited to more serious problems, even though this one is obviously distressing for you

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: thuli | 2010/01/07

He is a cheater and a lier, he won' t even tell that he slept with that lady. why would he want to joke with a stranger , if u can do the same he will leave u .

Reply to thuli
Posted by: XXX | 2010/01/07

The fact that you use each others phone does mean that he knew you would probably see it.However,it is a silly and childish thing to do.
I would chat to him about it and agree to set boundaries

Reply to XXX
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/01/07

Why don't some people realize that these are truly lousy jokes, even when they are actally intended to be jokes ? And who makes that sort of "joke" with a complete stranger ? He'd be likely to get his face slapped or be arrested !
Nobody else can tell you he did not sleep with this woman, or try to. And counselling would not solve that problem - only communication between you may clarify the situation. And free counselling is very rare, and limited to more serious problems, even though this one is obviously distressing for you

Reply to cybershrink

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