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Question
Posted by: Debbie | 2012/07/02

relationship phobia

every possible relationship goes the same way. I panic and tell the guy to get lost. Case in point. I hav met this wonderful guy. We were chatting to each other via sms when i did not get a response from him. I waited and waited and then I get this overwhelming fear anger and I sent him an sms telling him to decide if there is an us and he must decide. The poor mans reaction is WTF. by that time I am regretting my hasty decision and i think why on earth did i do what i do and i do it all the time. It is as if I can''t handle uncertainty and before i can get hurt I run away. Why do i do this?? Why do I sabotage a relationship before it has even begun or even given it a chance???

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

When we find that we keep making the same mistake, this is where CBT style counselling / psychotherapy can help ; to understand why this is, what fails, and how to usefully do things differently. I have never ever come across a relationship enhanced by SMS. What you're describing sounds needy and demanding enough to frighten off most men, especially those you might acually want to be with. And in the meantime as you have identified what you're doing wrong, why can't you just stop doing it ? Sending the SMS isn't compulsoty.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/07/02

When we find that we keep making the same mistake, this is where CBT style counselling / psychotherapy can help ; to understand why this is, what fails, and how to usefully do things differently. I have never ever come across a relationship enhanced by SMS. What you're describing sounds needy and demanding enough to frighten off most men, especially those you might acually want to be with. And in the meantime as you have identified what you're doing wrong, why can't you just stop doing it ? Sending the SMS isn't compulsoty.

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