Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-05-08

Relationship issues

Hi, my girl friends ex hung himself on my birthday. My girlfriend has become cold, and cires all the time. I feel my relationship is on the rocks. What can I do? It is also a recent ex, and my whole week has been about him.

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Our expert says:
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Iwonder whether his choice of date was a coincidence, or done with malicious intent ? Judging by the reaction of your gf, it may have been intended. Suicide usually occurs in very sad people, profoundly depressed and out of contact with others. But sometimes it is a deliberately malicious, hostile and manipulative act.
He presumably intnded to make her feel guilty and bad, and has succeeded. Give her time to mourn and work through her grief, preferably with the aid of a counsellor experienced in such matters. Your support and understanding will greatly help her to get through this ugly experience. As Kelly says, check with her as to what she needs, indicating your sympathy, concern, and willingness to help as she wishes.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Nellie | 2013-09-03

My partner just got assigned to a new project at work which is a really good opportunity for him to prove himself as a Project Manager and if he does it well it will open quite a lot of doors for him. However as a result works really long hours and isn’t home a lot. I am so happy for him but I’m 8 months pregnant and get really annoyed with the fact that I’m alone most of the time. We argued about this often the last week and he told me this weekend that he doesn’t feel that I support his career of what he is trying to accomplish for us. This made me feel very bad as that’s was not my intentions at all. I feel sorry for him because he gets home so late and then work calls him throughout the night for advice or he would get up and go help them at 2am or some ridiculous hour. I just miss him. He is a great guy and I want him to know that I support him and I appreciate the fact that he has so much ambition and is so career driven. How can I be more supportive?

Reply to Nellie
Posted by: Kelly | 2009-05-08

Hectic Stuff!
Give her time, space, anthing she needs from you right now but you gotta ask her what she needs as different people deal with loss in diff.ways.Most of all support, love and understanding.
I can' t imagine what she might be going through right now.
You will just have to be strong and it might take a very long time.Just be there for her.

Reply to Kelly
Posted by: doda | 2009-05-08

Ok so when you say he hung himself did he meet his final objective or did he survive?

thats some pretty grievous nasty stuff you need to support your gf - its going to be seriously hard for her to get over it (she may never do so) she' s just going to blame herself for making her ex hang himself for the rest of her life if she doesnt get psychological help

Reply to doda

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