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Question
Posted by: Mo | 2012/08/13

Relationship in Trouble

I have been in a relationship for 6 months and I love my bf with all my heart. All was well until he told me in a conversation we had that Im still very much inlove with the father of my child, and my responce was yes, I love him and will probably love him for the rest of my life because he is the father of my child and he did not turn his back on his child after our break up. I did not mean that I romantically love him. Is there a difference between love and being inlove? I have no intentions of going back to my ex and I am no longer inlove with him and in the same breath I want us to have a healthy relationship for the sake of our child. It does not matter how much I tell my bf that I love him and want to be with him, he just wont take what I tell him. He says he is dissappointed more than anything and because he was planning to marry me. Besides what I said, I have not done anything that suggest that I am not committed to him. I''m hurting so much and I cannot stand the thought of losing him. I dont know what to do. How do I make things right? How do we deal with this? How do we move on? Pls help!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I wonder what exactly you mean by "love" versus fondness, or affection, or just thinking well of someone. To be significantly in love with 2 people at once is not common and not usually useful for either of them, or for you. And you imply you love the father of your child, without being "in love" with him, and without "romantic love".
Maybe couples counselling, with your boyfriend, would help to clarify for all of you, what types of love you mean, and what your intentions and degrees of mutual committment actually are

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/08/13

I wonder what exactly you mean by "love" versus fondness, or affection, or just thinking well of someone. To be significantly in love with 2 people at once is not common and not usually useful for either of them, or for you. And you imply you love the father of your child, without being "in love" with him, and without "romantic love".
Maybe couples counselling, with your boyfriend, would help to clarify for all of you, what types of love you mean, and what your intentions and degrees of mutual committment actually are

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