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Question
Posted by: Concerned | 2008/07/10

Relationship Concerns

My ex and I broke up 6 months ago and was never involved in each others lives. I stayed away and concentrated on rebuilding my life. We were having problems since last year. However he has now come back into my life, and we discussed what we both did wrong in the relationship. He says although we were not married I tried to rule his life and never allowed him time alone with his friends. He also said that the facted that I always told him that he was unfaithful made him realise that I didnt trust him and why doesnt he just cheat to make me happy. We have been "back together" for about 3 weeks and things are still going okay but I still have those trust issues. I'm always wondering who he is e-mailing who he is calling, what is doing when he is not with me. I know that I'm wrong but I do I overcome this. When things are perfect and they have been before I started distrusting him, I create arguments just for the mere sake of wondering why things are so okay and that something sinister must be going on. Last night he was at my place and normally he doesnt allow me near his cellphone but he didnt even have a problem with me answering it. Its now at the point where I'm thinking that my trust issues will cause problems again so I should just throw in the towel.
Please advise, am I paranoid or are these feelings normal.

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Our expert says:
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Why not see a relationship counsellor together, to work on these issues ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: pam | 2008/07/10

if he has never cheated on you or given you reason to distrust him then yes you are being paranoid - not all men are cheaters and dishonest. and if he has never cheated on you then accept it that he is committed to you cos yes your paranoid behaviour will drive him away and it will be your fault. but if he has cheated on you or treated you so badly then your feelings are justified and through councelling and alot of hard work they can get better but sometimes that trust can never come back. if you have a good guy just accept it and be thankful.

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