Our expert says:
Its not up to you to make him happy - that's his job and his responsibility. Of course you should not be trying to make him UNhappy, but that's different.
Girls who smoke are NEVER sexier than other girls - they smell and taste like an ashtray, and will develop a whole range of unpleasant diseases relating to smoking.
Anyway, it sounds as though you each have problems of low-self-esteem and insecurity, and would probably have had difficulties together wherever you lived and worked. Couples counselling might help, if it is acessible to the pair of you in France ( its been years since I lived and worked for short times in France, so I'm not sure of what is currently available there . Mental health services there tend still to be rather unhelpfully analytically oriented rather than using modern and more effective techniques like CBT.
He probably needs to seek local assessment and treatment for his depression, too, because in significant ways you seem to be also suffering from HIS depression.
His odd reaction to your seeking work raises the question of whether he might prefer to keep yopu dependent on him, so he could be more in control of the situation, and more confident that you would stay with him because you had no alternative
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