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Question
Posted by: Cleo | 2012-01-24

Relationship blues

I am involved with a man who is slightly younger than me. We have been together for over two years now are both very busy with work and studies and seldom see each other. We''ve known each other for a very long time. He txts me everyday and I feel that he realy loves me. Lately, however, I have been feeling a bit neutral whereas before I felt very passionate about the relationship. I am not interested in anyone else but just do not feel that I miss him as much as before when I dont see him and dont always feel the urge to kiss him immediately when I see him as I have done before. I used to beg to see him and for us to make time for each other but now it is fine if I work on my studies all weekend and not see him. I like him to stay in contact and know what he''s doing. He is not as dedicated to his studies as I am. I am very goal-oriented while he is more laid-back. It irritates me a bit but I accept him as he is. I have though thought that though I love him i would probably not marry him but I do like being with him. I feel confused. I have tried to talk to him about my feelings and considered taking a break from each other but he doesnt want to. I am unsure as to whether I should leave him as I will miss him.
What to do? Why the mixed feelings? Is this normal after 2 years?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

There are times in life like this, when people can be so very busy with their work and study life, that they don't have much time for personal relationships - that can become a difficult time within a marriage, and a troubling time when still planning a long-term relationship.
Mixed feelings are neither uncommon or wrong ; what matters more is what one does about them, which may range from discussing it fruitfully together or seeing a counsellor, or just carrying on and hoping for the best

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2012-01-26

Hi Cleo.

I know what you are talking about.
I was in the same situasion not long ago where me and fiance at that point had the same trouble,in fact your story sounds very familiar. We were also both working and studied and same as in your case i don''t have to study as hard as what she does to reach the same results.
But to get to the point here,we are now seperated and it is killing me on the inside.
Rather try and sort things out,give it some time.You might feel the way you do now,until you realise that he is gone.You are going to regret it.
Good luck

Reply to Anon
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-01-24

There are times in life like this, when people can be so very busy with their work and study life, that they don't have much time for personal relationships - that can become a difficult time within a marriage, and a troubling time when still planning a long-term relationship.
Mixed feelings are neither uncommon or wrong ; what matters more is what one does about them, which may range from discussing it fruitfully together or seeing a counsellor, or just carrying on and hoping for the best

Reply to cybershrink

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