Our expert says:
Maybe its not easy to recognize these differences in problem-solving styles, etc., before moving in together, but it's worth trying to do so.
ANY problems in disciplining and bringing up kids have to be solved by discussion between the "grown-ups" and both adults having the SAME policies and procedures in dealing with problems, or the kids get understandably confused.
Rudeness and especially cruelty between the kids is unaceptable, and for either parent to tolerate either child being rude and unpleasant to the other adult, is a bad breach of reasonable expectations, and no help at all to either child.
Your partner doesn't have to agree with you about everything, but should be prepared to listen to you, and to try to work out a shared approach which you can both follow.
The sort of solutions your b is seeking for his "trust issues" are unreasonable and would solve nothing - he's asking for absolute obedience, not trust.
Why shouldn't you join him in sessions with his psychologist, who already knows his viewpoint, and work out a shared policy towards trust and the related issues ? You are seeking viable solutions, not laying down conditions, except the condition that you should both share an agreed approach to solving the problems.
You sound like a most responsible mom, and he may feel the same way about his son, but in practise he may be spoiling the boy rather than bringing him up as well as he thinks
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.