Posted by: Yolandé  Pansegrouw | 2012-12-06


Hi I am friends for nearly three years now with a teacher her kids and mine are the same grades, and my son and her son is big buddies. I cannot say that I really like her. It took me a very long time to start liking her and to see her good qualities. But, unfortunately, I still feel that she only uses our friendship to get the children together, I do not feel like her friend, I am only the push button. Four months ago she came into my house with a rage of words, and start screaming on my child. She has this problem with her children that they do not have manners in greeting whatsoever. That specific day, I have asked my child to greet her before he ran to the gate to his best friend. She started screaming on her son to greet me, I asked her if my son greeted her, she said no, and start driving of with her bad mood. Later when she came to pick up her son, I have asked my child to greet her again, because I think she did not hear him the first time. He said, hallo, I did greet you all. She started to scream at my child, saying that he is lieing and that he did not greeted her. My child immediately asked for forgiveness, saing I am sorry, and in my heart I know my child did not lie.!!!

You cannot believe, it, there I was standing I was so shocked because I have never seen her in this way, I was tryiing to speak to her, she did not hear a word. Three days later I went to her house to sort things out. She keep saying that my child did not greet her in three years why would he now? If I am saying my child did greet her, then I am making liars out of all of them because he did not greet them, none of them heard that he greeted them.

I cannot explain to you this woman does not listen, I am trying to tell her that I am not bringing up a liar, I know my child. I can tell when he is telling a lie or not. She still say that he did not greet her. Anyway, I am far to sensitive about this, I still cannot forgive her, I think she is a non hearative person with a heart of stone, who only believes she is right.

I do not want her in my life any more, At this moment I hate her with passion. I started to cry the second time she came into my house screaming why I still keep it against her, I must get it out of my mind. Can you believe it, she thinks she is God. !!! Forgiveness does not work that way it takes time to forgive and much longer to forget. !!!

At this stage of my life I feel I do not want her relationship, I hate her so much and still have to put a smile on my face make as if nothing is wrong when my child wants to go play there, but inside me, I am a volcano. I can''t argue with her, I cannot talk sense into her, she keep saying that all the highschool teachers scream at the children, my child can cope it''s me that cannot cope with it. Sorry to say, I do not have any respect for her left or any teacher that screams at children and break there self image down like she did to me.

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Our expert says:
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She really doesn't sound like a friend, does she ? She sounds like an ugly, ill-mannered and rather disurbed woman, and highly unsuitable to be any sort of teacher. No need at all to pretend to be a friend of hers, as she doesn't behave like anyone's friend.
And if she thinks all high-school teachers scream at kids, then she must have been trained as a teacher by an idiot. I see no reason at all why you would feel the need to respect such an awful woman. Nuttier than a Christmas Cake.
Maybe its wise to encourage your kid to make new friends with sane moms, and make it very clear to her that creaming and other bad behaviour is not acceptable in your home or garden.
How rediculous that she gets mad about kids needing to be polite to her, and apparently she is polite to nobody.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Milla | 2012-12-06

Why do you have to be friends with her? If she causes you so much discomfort in your own home it''s surely not worth it? Make it clear to her that you wont tolerate that kind of behavior in your home, she''s a guest afterall. Kind of ironic that she flips out over kids being impolite..

It''s more than possible to have the kids still be friendly and to let them see each other, you don''t have to invite this woman in to your home for the kids to carry on. I''ve never had a close friendship with parents of the kids that come to visit, sure they are welcome to come in if they want to see where there kids will be spending the day/night, but that''s it, just being friendly and civil no need to be best buddies. They are also ofcourse welcome to take their own kids home if they are unhappy about the rules that I expect guests to follow when they are in my home.

Reply to Milla
Posted by: Lou | 2012-12-06

Hi Yolande,

I cant help wondering why you call this woman a friend? She obviously isn''t one, and quite frankly, she sounds nuttier than a lunch bar.
Firstly, you need to stop allowing her free access to your home, and tell her that the why she rants and raves is not acceptable in any environment, but especially not welcome in your home.

If her children are mannerless, perhaps its better not to let your children play together? In fact, is sounds like the biggest favour you could do yourself is cut that friendship totally.

Reply to Lou

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