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Question
Posted by: katie | 2012/06/01

relationship

I have been in a relationship with a very good man for nine months, i just have two questions I have met his mom and the rest of the family but he hasnt told them that both my kids are mentally handicappe. Only his children knows. He tells me he needs time to tell them, cause his been married before and his family is nou sceptic about his choice in woman. He hasnt introduced me to his friend allthough they know about me. He says is am very unsure about things, and i have broken up with him several times. Ihe wants to wait until everything is running smoothly. The way he talks it sounds like we will be together in the long rum. just those two things that bothers me.

Does it souncs fair?.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

OK, this wouldn't be the easiest things for him to tell mom about, so its understandable if he planned to choose a suitable time, but it can't be postponed for long. Maybe he wanted her to meet and discover how nice you were, before broaching this part of the topic ? But he should have discussed it woth you, so you could make a joint decision and a coordinated approach.
But if HIS children know, how can he be sure they haven't told his mom and the rest of the family ?
Maybe he is hping that with his mom meeting you, she;ll decide he has developed much better taste in women ?
But the concern, and the lack of consensus, suggests a need for good long discussions frankly between you, and maybe some couples counselling sessions, too.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Zoo | 2012/06/06

Give the man a break and good time will eventually come.If you try to be hard on him you will push himm too far.This is a very sensitive matter which needs to be handled with care

Reply to Zoo
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/06/01

OK, this wouldn't be the easiest things for him to tell mom about, so its understandable if he planned to choose a suitable time, but it can't be postponed for long. Maybe he wanted her to meet and discover how nice you were, before broaching this part of the topic ? But he should have discussed it woth you, so you could make a joint decision and a coordinated approach.
But if HIS children know, how can he be sure they haven't told his mom and the rest of the family ?
Maybe he is hping that with his mom meeting you, she;ll decide he has developed much better taste in women ?
But the concern, and the lack of consensus, suggests a need for good long discussions frankly between you, and maybe some couples counselling sessions, too.

Reply to cybershrink

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