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Question
Posted by: JoJo | 2011/05/11

Relationship

Im at my wits end, my boyfriend is 52 years old and we have a 16 month old son - we have been dating nearly 3 years (friends for 2 years before we started dating). My dilemma is that although he sleeps at my place every night, he still lives with his mom. At first i thought money was the issue as to why he didnt want to move in with me but when i told him not to worry about the money .. we can make a plan if he moves in he told me that theres no space for his computers. . . and and a list of to me excuses. I told him that i am feeling very low on his priority list . . best of both worlds - his mom cooks and irons for him and i cook for him on the weekends as he only gets to my place at after 7pm during the week (when little one has already been fed, bathed and put to bed!!) . How would you take this - signal that hes not willing to leave the comfort of his mothers house even if he has a girlfriend and a little boy in his life? Your comments would be appreciated.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It really doesn't sound as though this guy is mature and independent enough ( whatever his age !) to have a close relationship like marriage with a woman. He will be set in his ways, and apparently more married to his "computers" ( how many computers does one guy need ? ) than to anyone else, even if he is content to have sex with someone else. Between you and his mom, he has everything done with him - 2 free servants ! Why would he want to change ? You have 2 infants to look after, and maybe your expectations o this guy before you decided to have a child by him, were really unrealistic ?

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Phil | 2011/05/12

I think you dealing wit another child, a mommys boy that still needs to grow up. Sadly  at his age it''s too late.
When his mom passes  you will be rasing two boys...

Reply to Phil
Posted by: Romany | 2011/05/12

I think your last sentence accurately sums it up.
As this is the perfect situation for him, I doubt if he will change his ways. Let''s face it, if he was wiling to change, surely he would have proposed marraige at leat when you fell pregnant?
The question is : Are you willing to put up with this until his mother passes away some day? Or do you want to bring your little boy up with a father figure in his life?
Answer this question to yourself and then the dicisionwill be easy.
Personally, I would not want a man that choses his mother over me.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/05/12

It really doesn't sound as though this guy is mature and independent enough ( whatever his age !) to have a close relationship like marriage with a woman. He will be set in his ways, and apparently more married to his "computers" ( how many computers does one guy need ? ) than to anyone else, even if he is content to have sex with someone else. Between you and his mom, he has everything done with him - 2 free servants ! Why would he want to change ? You have 2 infants to look after, and maybe your expectations o this guy before you decided to have a child by him, were really unrealistic ?

Reply to cybershrink

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