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Question
Posted by: PK | 2011/04/25

Relationship

Hi doc, Im married now for 4 months,a month ago one of my Girlfriends started to work at us,In the past we had a quick relationship but nothing serious and so passed about 3 years without speaking with each other i met another girl and she had a child with her long time boyfriend, now im married and she is single and we cant leave each other alone. we had sex 4 times in the last 2 months after work.. i spoke to my parents how i feel (they dont know about the sex) they say i have married the better one of the 2 and they dont want us to seperate as the other girl is a bit more difficult to live with even is more seccesfull. i know one must work hard at a relationship and ive found myself to think alot about the other girl. but everytime i do is only about the SEX do i really love her or is it just about the better sex.. ? hope you can help. thanks

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Correction. When you say "we can't leave each other alone' that's absolutely not true. "we don't leave each other alone" - maybe that IS true. You are saying it as though it is impossible for you to behave responsibly, as if you had no choice at all in behaviour where you definitely DO have a choice. Your message doesn;t siggest any love for ANYONE, and it seems to be just about the sex. Leave the other girl alone, she'll probably find sex with someone else before long. Concentrate on your marriage where you promised to be faithful and loving, and try doing what you promised. See a marriage counsellor together, if you can.
What you are doing will hurt your wife terribly, and she does not deserve that. Stop being essentially selfish and thinking o nothing but sex, and try being a real man with adult responsibilities to your wife.

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Our users say:
Posted by: pk | 2011/04/26

thanks guys.. really needed this to help me.. i know we all think the grass is greener on the other side it might be so but just for a month or so and then we will feel the same again..

I feel bad really i do, ill work on my relationship.. thanks

Reply to pk
Posted by: Truth | 2011/04/26

CS advise is spot on - l am personally appalled at your behaviour.
Lets hope you at least practised safe sex and that your wife will not have the heartbreak of a sexually transmitted disease.
SHAME on you, CS last sentence says it all - GROW UP.

Reply to Truth
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/04/26

Correction. When you say "we can't leave each other alone' that's absolutely not true. "we don't leave each other alone" - maybe that IS true. You are saying it as though it is impossible for you to behave responsibly, as if you had no choice at all in behaviour where you definitely DO have a choice. Your message doesn;t siggest any love for ANYONE, and it seems to be just about the sex. Leave the other girl alone, she'll probably find sex with someone else before long. Concentrate on your marriage where you promised to be faithful and loving, and try doing what you promised. See a marriage counsellor together, if you can.
What you are doing will hurt your wife terribly, and she does not deserve that. Stop being essentially selfish and thinking o nothing but sex, and try being a real man with adult responsibilities to your wife.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: wind | 2011/04/25

You are in a very difficult situation - you have only been married 4 months and youve already had sex with someone else - not a good start to a marriage. Try not having sex with her and see how it goes. Concentrate on your wife and making a life with her - going back to an ex is not the best idea . . .your relationship ended for a reason, over time these reasons may be forgotten. Dont throw away your marriage, image how hurt your wife would be if she found out - and if you carry on like you are she probably will.

Reply to wind

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