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Question
Posted by: DR. Phill | 2011-03-15

relationship

i''ve got this problem.
i''m like dr. phill to my friends. they always come to me with there relationship problems and i''m more than keen te help them.
weather they strugle to get in a relationship, having problems in a relationship or trying to get out one, i''m always the one to contact if they need help. needles to say, what ever i tell them works for them.
now, my probleme is that i myself struggle so much to get in a relationship. i''m not the shy tipe so i do get along with anyone very easly. i always get that i''m a very nice person and a good friend. do i need to drop the " nice guy"  and be more " out there"  ?? i get the tendency to always get my timing wrong.
i either wait to long to admit my feelings or i do it to quickly.
i really need help on this topic as i don''t seem to get what i need or want.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageBehaviour modification

Dear DR Phill. We do what works for us. On some level being there for others is working for you. But if you are starting to feel used you should establish some boundaries. It has often been said that that when you give advice to others you are also giving that advice to yourself. It would be an interesting exercise for you to think about if you really believe that you are worthy of getting what you are looking for. Subconsciously you may believe that it is better to give than to receive. The fact of the matter is that one can only really be there for others if you are there for yourself. That means having a clearly defined idea of what you want from life and going after it. You do not have to stop being there for your friends, as long as you are not neglecting yourself in the process.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Behaviour modification | 2011-03-24

Dear DR Phill. We do what works for us. On some level being there for others is working for you. But if you are starting to feel used you should establish some boundaries. It has often been said that that when you give advice to others you are also giving that advice to yourself. It would be an interesting exercise for you to think about if you really believe that you are worthy of getting what you are looking for. Subconsciously you may believe that it is better to give than to receive. The fact of the matter is that one can only really be there for others if you are there for yourself. That means having a clearly defined idea of what you want from life and going after it. You do not have to stop being there for your friends, as long as you are not neglecting yourself in the process.

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