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Question
Posted by: sue | 2010/04/18

relationship

I have been dating the father of my 3month old boy for 17 months now. We get on well and i love him a lot. He says that he wants to get married but still lives with his mom (he is 50). When i asked him if he wants to move in together - he said we need to get married first which is not a problem but he also said that he needs to sort things out at home i.e. financial commitments to his mom and sis etc. I have no issue with this as i believe its good to help fam to a certain extent but at the same time he doesnt seem to have any plans - well he doesnt make an issue of speaking about them to me and when i ask is very vague. I know that if i broach this subject again, i will just get the same answers and i feel awkward - His family are also talking about moving accross the border and its not a place that i would want to go because the education is not great there and i have 2 kids from a previous marriage. I reckon that if his fam moved there he would go without a second thought to me or his baby. Its really bothering me. Any suggestions??

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

As one gets older, like 50, it becomes harder to change habits, and if h is to genuinely marry you and become a full-time spouse and father, he'll have to do quite a bit of changing. And if he has long-term commitments to his mom and sister, those might take some time to re-arrange satisfactorily. They will probably be upset at him leaving them and taking on new committments.
There won't be any solutions found except by calm, sincere talking between you

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/04/19

As one gets older, like 50, it becomes harder to change habits, and if h is to genuinely marry you and become a full-time spouse and father, he'll have to do quite a bit of changing. And if he has long-term commitments to his mom and sister, those might take some time to re-arrange satisfactorily. They will probably be upset at him leaving them and taking on new committments.
There won't be any solutions found except by calm, sincere talking between you

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