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Question
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-06-03

Relationship.

Subject: RE: Relationship.
Posted by: Anonymous | 3/6/2009

Thank you guys but my lady is adamant that I apologise to her mother and told me also she discusses our issues with her older sister as well. When the relationship began I really sensed a strong level of maturity by telling me we should not entertain other people informing us about our past. Which I agree 100% with her because the past is gone and one really needs to move on. But to my suprise what she told me last night really came as a shock to me because I do not know what is she has told them. I suggested we go see a shrink, only to tell me that it is a waist of money, of which I offered to foot the bill. I even told her if she is not happy with the relationship and she wants out all she has to do is tell me even though it is going to hurt, I should respect her decision, but no she insists I apologise to her mother and things will be back to normal. This is rather puting a lot of strain on me and I really feel she is pushing me away. Maybe I should excersise more patience but I feel I will be waisting valuable time and will not be able to move on as I should. Is she playing games and I should rather move on because I always try and initiate the mending process but there is little commitment to mend the relationship on her side. Please comment.


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Then you need to decide --- do you want a relationship with annindependent woman ( which this lasy is not ) or with a while tribe of women who will discuss your every move ? IF you want to become subservient to this growing number of women as a subject of debate, go ahead, but know that this is what the outcome will be like. She sounds too immature for a grown-up relationship at this stage. Moving on might be wiser on your side

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Our users say:
Posted by: Kristen | 2009-06-03

Anonymous are you Indian? I was going through the exact same thing with my husband. It was so frustrating everytime we had an argument mommy and his nosey sister would know. We had a huge fight earlier this year and they came to know about it offering meadvice and using everything to make it seem like it' s my fualt ie I dont go to church with him sometimes, I dont cook the food he likes all the time when I come home from work i must rub his feet, i need to wait on him hand and foot (yet her daughter - the laziest person on earth - doesnt do any of this for her husband he must do it for her. So all in all mummy only looks out for own even when they are wrong and she is doing a huge injustice to them as theywill never learn. She also said she was concerned about me and my frame of mind ( i was very upset and emotional after my husband stormed out)
my uncle is mentally retarded and it looks like I' m headed that way too (another reason why her son cant be wrong) Then she blames it on my family history (almost everybody was married twice) again the problem must be with me
After all this happend I was more furious than anything (hubby knows nothing about what she said) I laid down the law - what happens between us stays between what they are actually doing is gossiping. Even when we fight it will not leave our home. These people are too dependent on their mommies and the mommies thrive on it. She needs to cut off the apron strings and you need to set the boundaries as to what acceptable and whats not. Just make sure you sort this out before you het married. Oh and bye the way you dont owe anyone any appology - make it clear or it will become the norm. Sorry for such a long reply needed to vent.

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