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Question
Posted by: Me | 2010/12/19

rejected!

My boyfriend and i have been together for 2.5 years and living together for 2. I really want to get married - he says he is not ready (he is 28). HOWEVER, he often says things like " one day when we get married ..." 

I feel rejected... what can I do? There is NO way that I am going to give him an ultimatum because I dont believe in them, but I dont know how to deal with this.

Can you give me some advice?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Right, an ultimatum is raerely useful, But why not just talk about it with him, explaining how you feel uncomfortable when he says that, and want to understand more clearly where the relationship is going.

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: FF | 2010/12/21

Why do you want to get married? Is it the ring? Or maybe the piece of paper? If you are committed to each other marraige is really not necesasary.

Reply to FF
Posted by: Ntando | 2010/12/21

I was once in the same condition.I explained everything to him why I wanted us to be married( like I love you and Im happy with you and Im ready to commite and make you happy as not just a boyfriend but as my husband. I want you to be mine physically, emotionally and lawfully) even your actions must be convinsing that you are ready to become a wife by making him more happy.But still he didnt do anything, then I told him I have no choice but to leave him since I dont know where Im standing then I left. The next time I saw him he came to me with a date to send his family to pay lobola.

Reply to Ntando
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/12/20

Right, an ultimatum is raerely useful, But why not just talk about it with him, explaining how you feel uncomfortable when he says that, and want to understand more clearly where the relationship is going.

Reply to cybershrink

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