Our expert says:
I suspect that the softer erection is due to some sort of performance anxiety rather than it being caused by masturbation. Some relevant differences between masturbation and intimacy with a partner are that (1) you don't have to worry about pleasing your partner or "performing well" when masturbating, and (2) self stimulation may be more stimulating to the controlled increased friction and/or the images/fantasy you use with masturbation. You can speak to your doctor about one of the PDE5 inhibitors (e.g. Viagra, Cialis or Levitra) as these might help you to overcome any anxiety...if this doesn't work you might need to consult with a sex therapist.
Claire - SASHA
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