Posted by: Anon. | 2010/02/19


Hi there, i just want to know if this is possible, i have decided to give my marriage another go after my husband was countlessly unfaithful to me with work collegues (more than one girl)........we been trying since November ''09 and it has been going well.......last week i moved back into our home and suddenly i feel very depressed and sad and i cannot stop feeling that he may do it again, since all these affairs wee at work i feel threatened everyday and insecure, i feel like i cannot have a normal relationship with him because if isay or do something out of line he will run back to one of them like he always used to do........will i get over this or should i just throw in the towel........we have a daughter and she adores him. I do have feelings for him , but i feel like i can let go becuase i have hate feeling this insecure.......please help me?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageDivorce support expert

You wanting to try and make your marriage your marriage is perfectly understandable. You have feelings for your husband and you have a daughter together. These may seem enough to put in some effort. It has been reported also that it is not an affair per se which will be the cause of a breakup, but the damaged trust and poor communication.

Some people may advise you to leave this relationship while others may encourage you to bite the bullet. There is no right or wrong really. Only what is right for you! In order to know what is right for you, you need to connect with your innerself and pretty follow your "gut feeling". When something feels right it most probably is. When something doesn't, it most probably isn't.

You mention feeling sad and depressed since moving back into your home. Ask yourself what message you can identify in your feelings. No one else but yourself know is best for you. List the pros and cons. What is important to you and what is not and connect with your values and how aligned you are to those values, then allow yourself to feel what is the right decision.

No one is forced to live an un-fulfilling life or a life which doesn't contribute to our well being. We all have choices. Your husband made a choice which compromised the quality of your relationship. Our choices are mostly based on values which are important to us. Are your values and your husband's values compatible?

You find it hard to trust your husband again.
I say: Trust yourself and your choice.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: GT | 2010/02/19

Magic Of Making Up
The Clean Slate Method
What defiles the person-adutery
4 Keys to Knowing the Affair is NOT Your Fault

Reply to GT
Posted by: GT | 2010/02/19

Get yourself the DVD and book called Fireproof and for the both of you to watch , read and practice

Reply to GT
Posted by: GT | 2010/02/19

I was in the same boat as you BUT my wife had other ideas and agendas.
Through the reconciliation of which lasted 3 years and then she committed adultery again, I came out a far better person and DAD to my children, I have no regrets as I know I was not the cause in anyway for the break up of the marriage.

The best advise I can give you is to put all your trust and belief in GOD.
It will be difficult as you will ask WHY ME?
Eventually when GOD says the time is right you will receive your answers.

Reply to GT
Posted by: GT | 2010/02/19

Please read the post that I have added. It is all about reconciliation and how to overcome the negative thoughts and on the both of you to move forward and make the marriage work if commitment from both parties.

Reply to GT

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