Our expert says:
I understand how you felt, but of course, you have never been a failure. Your stepfather and indeed your mother failed you, and so did your husband, in thinking only of his own pleasures and not recognizing your needs and concerns. Others have failed to enable you to experience sex as something pleasant, rather than as a weapon of exploitation by someone using you for their own wishes.
You really need and deserve to see a good local counsellor or clinical psychologist for a fuller assessment and counselling to help you to free yourself from the consequences of how badly other people have behaved, and to enable you to find peace and pleasure in the future
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