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Question
Posted by: DarkAngel | 2011/04/15

realtionships after childhood molestation &  rape

im struggling to keep any solid relationship. i was molested and raped as a teen by my stepfather, and when i got married my husband asked for a lot sexually (styles and so forth) which i would do hating every moment and my heart and mind was not there and he knew it i found myself divorced after 9 years. in a way it was a releaf but i felt like a failier too. i landed in another relationship where i tried keeping things in a way clinical well that didnt work either he quickly found other partners, we split. i dont know what to do i feel like a failier but i cant get through these feeling of shame and total disgust with the whole sexual act.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I understand how you felt, but of course, you have never been a failure. Your stepfather and indeed your mother failed you, and so did your husband, in thinking only of his own pleasures and not recognizing your needs and concerns. Others have failed to enable you to experience sex as something pleasant, rather than as a weapon of exploitation by someone using you for their own wishes.
You really need and deserve to see a good local counsellor or clinical psychologist for a fuller assessment and counselling to help you to free yourself from the consequences of how badly other people have behaved, and to enable you to find peace and pleasure in the future

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/04/17

I understand how you felt, but of course, you have never been a failure. Your stepfather and indeed your mother failed you, and so did your husband, in thinking only of his own pleasures and not recognizing your needs and concerns. Others have failed to enable you to experience sex as something pleasant, rather than as a weapon of exploitation by someone using you for their own wishes.
You really need and deserve to see a good local counsellor or clinical psychologist for a fuller assessment and counselling to help you to free yourself from the consequences of how badly other people have behaved, and to enable you to find peace and pleasure in the future

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