advertisement
Question
Posted by: Naomi | 2010-11-23

Really morbidly obese

Afternoon Graham
In my mind I''ve always been fat. Even when I was a little girl. Looking at photos of me when I was small most people will disagree.
Anycase - a lot of things happend during my life - 37 years - which of course had a really bad influence on my emotional well being. I''ve been on anti-depressants and therapy with a qualified psychologist and psychiatrist for close to five years now. And the therapy is helping on most fronts, but not my wieght.
My psychologist told me at my last session that she believes we have covered most, if not all, emotional issues I had which had an effect on my weight, and I agree with her. However, it seems that sorting out my emotional baggage did not sort out my relationship with food or my body. In actual fact, I think I''m gaining weight again! I don''t feel comfortable sharing my weight, just know that I''m 6 feet tall and definitly not just thrity or even 50 kg overweight.
I have tried Overeaters Anonymous - and to this day I still don''t understand or feel comfortable with them. I''ve tried Weighless, it feels like, hundreds of times and like most of us going there, just picked up everything I lost plus more.
I''ve been looking for a support group (other than OA), even one on the internet, but have been unable to locate one in JHB proper. Do you know of one?
I''ve been investigating all options and have decided that a medical or surgical intervention will only be bad for me - I don''t believe God would have wanted my to have a gastric bypass - it''s definitly not the healthiets life style I''ve encountered.
I''m wondering if I''ll ever be " normal"  or should I just chalk it up as a lost cause and live the way I do - probably dying soon. I have no hope anymore that I''ll ever be able to change this - not with all the threapy in the world.
I know this sound very defeatest, but today is a particularly bad day. The one thing I do know is that life carries on, so therefore I just need to carry on - it''s expected of me. Or rather I expect it of me.
So, thanks for listening to my ranting - I''m sure I''l feel better tomorrow.
Regards,
Naomi

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageEating Disorders Expert

Dear Naomi,
I understand your frustration. You have persevered with therapy for some years and feel that you have covered all the bases that might provide clues to your dysfunctional relationship with food. I commend you for your hard work. The problem is that I suspect that you don’t so much have a dysfunctional relationship with food, but a dysfunctional relationship with yourself through food, in much the same way that an alcoholic has a destructive relationship with him/herself through excessive alcohol. What I am trying to say to you is that your therapy has likely been touching on many very relevant painful themes in your life. However, I do not hear mention of a dietician in your treatment and this is something that I strongly suggest you consider adding to the mix. Whereas the alcoholic is only going to make progress once he/she sobers up and views his/her life difficulties through a clear and honest lens, so you need to have a sober (healthy) relationship with food before you can thoroughly confront and resolve your painful issues. Therefore, I suggest that you consult with a specialist dietician as an adjunct to your therapy and psychiatric management. This will likely be more constructive than only attending a group, as a dietician will provide you with an individualized dietary programme. I will email you a contact I have in Johannesburg, okay. As for your considering bariatric surgery, if you have looked at my profile you will see that I am on a surgical team that provides bariatric (weight loss) surgery at a Centre of Excellence bariatric clinic in Cape Town. Such surgery should be seen as a last resort to weight loss and is only consented to by the multidisciplinary team after all other methods of weight loss have been considered and eliminated. What you have to consider is the likelihood that surgery offers you a better lifestyle and longer life, than the compromised lifestyle and medical dangers you likely face if you are morbidly obese. Out of naivety I was very reserved in my opinion about bariatric surgery before I joined the Chrysalis Clinic team 5 years ago. However, when the one surgeon eventually persuaded me to consider joining the team, I did some extensive homework and realized its unique, but valid position in the medical world. Having watched more than a hundred patients go through the challenging pre-surgical, surgical and post-surgical process, I have to say that I have seen every individual’s life amazingly transformed. It’s hard work, but the only complaint any patient has ever made is not having the surgery sooner. There are a few good surgical teams around the country, including a very good one in your area. I’m happy to discuss this matter with you via email or a phone call if you wish. Good luck.
Regards,
Graham

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Eating Disorders and Obesity Expert | 2010-11-30

Dear Naomi,
I understand your frustration. You have persevered with therapy for some years and feel that you have covered all the bases that might provide clues to your dysfunctional relationship with food. I commend you for your hard work. The problem is that I suspect that you don’t so much have a dysfunctional relationship with food, but a dysfunctional relationship with yourself through food, in much the same way that an alcoholic has a destructive relationship with him/herself through excessive alcohol. What I am trying to say to you is that your therapy has likely been touching on many very relevant painful themes in your life. However, I do not hear mention of a dietician in your treatment and this is something that I strongly suggest you consider adding to the mix. Whereas the alcoholic is only going to make progress once he/she sobers up and views his/her life difficulties through a clear and honest lens, so you need to have a sober (healthy) relationship with food before you can thoroughly confront and resolve your painful issues. Therefore, I suggest that you consult with a specialist dietician as an adjunct to your therapy and psychiatric management. This will likely be more constructive than only attending a group, as a dietician will provide you with an individualized dietary programme. I will email you a contact I have in Johannesburg, okay. As for your considering bariatric surgery, if you have looked at my profile you will see that I am on a surgical team that provides bariatric (weight loss) surgery at a Centre of Excellence bariatric clinic in Cape Town. Such surgery should be seen as a last resort to weight loss and is only consented to by the multidisciplinary team after all other methods of weight loss have been considered and eliminated. What you have to consider is the likelihood that surgery offers you a better lifestyle and longer life, than the compromised lifestyle and medical dangers you likely face if you are morbidly obese. Out of naivety I was very reserved in my opinion about bariatric surgery before I joined the Chrysalis Clinic team 5 years ago. However, when the one surgeon eventually persuaded me to consider joining the team, I did some extensive homework and realized its unique, but valid position in the medical world. Having watched more than a hundred patients go through the challenging pre-surgical, surgical and post-surgical process, I have to say that I have seen every individual’s life amazingly transformed. It’s hard work, but the only complaint any patient has ever made is not having the surgery sooner. There are a few good surgical teams around the country, including a very good one in your area. I’m happy to discuss this matter with you via email or a phone call if you wish. Good luck.
Regards,
Graham

Reply to Eating Disorders and Obesity Expert
Posted by: G | 2010-11-25

Dear Naomi
Please never give up believing and trying. Don''t believe that voice in your head that tells you to give up! When I first read your post, I felt your pain. I am in the same boat as you and can relate to what you have written, so I understand how frustrated and demotivated you feel right now. I just want to let you know that you are not alone in your fight in wanting to lose weight. I probably weigh as much as you do (if not more). Every day is a struggle....physically, emotionally even spiritually (referring to myself). Just a few days ago I realised that my relationship with food will never disappear. It will always be there, lurking around in the dark, waiting for me to have a " bad"  day. But, you know what? Food is never going to win because we are so much stronger. Eating is all based on emotions and I don''t think you have really come to closure with your issues. Just because you have talked about it countless times, does not mean your issues have been resolved. I am seeing a therapist for 3 yrs and am only making progress now. Our minds have been programmed from childhood and it takes a very long time to unlearn what we were led to believe. I just finished reading a book titled " Women, Food &  God"  by Geneen Roth. Please try to get yourself a copy - you won''t want to put it down. We believe we are doomed to fail, we believe food controls our life and what is sad is, we live a life of shame. I am 40yrs old and I am finally learning to let go of food and I know you will also be able to do so. I have a wonderful therapist who has never ever given up on me and who has made me realise that we can change our mindset and that change has to come from within ourselves. I believe you have lots of strength &  courage and just want you to know that you are definately not alone and that you should NEVER give up! I know it is difficult but with the right support, you will get through this.

Reply to G

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement