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Posted by: Daphne | 2011/11/02

Really depressed

I am feeling really depressed. My husband finally got a work again after 3 years being retrenched in 2008. Now he works 300km''s away and I only see him every 9 weeks for a weekend. We have two small kids aged 4 and 1 and we are really feeling his absence. We have been trying to meet up with him in Pretoria so long but every time we try something happens to prevent it - usually something financial. We have never been apart and we are very happily married.

I have been severely depressed before and was institutionalised for it but I feel even wordse now. I cant loose it for the kids'' sake but do feel like just giving up.

I have now also started a vicious cycle of comfort eating to feel better, depressed about eight gain tc.

What to do? It feels like we will never get up again? What am I fighting against?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

After seeking work for so long after a retrenchment, its understandable that you would both be eager for him to accept a good job offer.
But inevitably being separated for such long periods will be stressful for you all. But don't give up, for your sake, his sake, and the kids sake most of all.
How long is it likely that this situation might continue ? Is there any possibility, soon or before long, for a transfer so he can keep the work but be closer to you ? Is there some option for you and the children to move closer to him, or to at least spend longer visits with him ? Has this been discussed with the HR department of his employers, to see if they can figure out any way to help ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Romany | 2011/11/03

Living apart is really the worst of situations. You need to do whatever you can inyour power to end this as soon as possible. Give up whatever you have to to live toga=ether as soon as possible.
Absence does NOT make the heart grow fonder.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/11/03

After seeking work for so long after a retrenchment, its understandable that you would both be eager for him to accept a good job offer.
But inevitably being separated for such long periods will be stressful for you all. But don't give up, for your sake, his sake, and the kids sake most of all.
How long is it likely that this situation might continue ? Is there any possibility, soon or before long, for a transfer so he can keep the work but be closer to you ? Is there some option for you and the children to move closer to him, or to at least spend longer visits with him ? Has this been discussed with the HR department of his employers, to see if they can figure out any way to help ?

Reply to cybershrink

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