Posted by: Zero | 2013-01-02

Really confused and sad  please advice

I have been with my girlfriend for 8 years and recently got married. In the last year before marriage I fell in love with another person while I still felt I cannot disappoint my 8 year girlfriend. She has been aware that the spark has died and knows my involvement with the other person but insisted on marriage truly because she is obsessed with a white expensive wedding which we had.

My whole life (even friends have told me) I have never done anything for myself. I always look out for others before myself. I spent a big chunk of my salary helping those in need until sometimes I end up with nothing. I really feel I got married for her while I did not want not. Now I am rebellious and it looks unfair on her. I did tell her before the wedding that I do not want to but she broke and promised to take her life. I feel I must start doing things for myself, do the things that make me happy.

My other girlfriend that I love is going through a difficult time. She is hurting more than I have ever seen anyone hurt. Nothing makes sense to me. I dont know what to do. I dont want to hurt anyone. I just wish to vanish from the face of the earth.

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Our users say:
Posted by: boykie | 2013-01-16

u hv two phycho women,1st ur wife cos xe threaned to take her life for u, well its hurt mayb it came as a shock cos u dont plan white wedding within 4 months, u gave her the hopes afta u gt sucked by dat relationship wrecker u claim u dont wana marry ur 8yrs gf just knw nyatsis can wipe ur shit with their tounges just to do wht wives will hesitate to do once u break up with ur wife dey show their real calas.2nd ur gal is crazy cos xe knew u hv a gf unless u lied to her.xe can get hurt xe chose to by involving herslf with anada woman''s dies on the way and u get to love each ada again so wht ur experiencing is the consequences of cheating using ur heart and ur fake love..use ur d**k to cheat not ur heart n love u will be just fine..

Reply to boykie
Posted by: Anon | 2013-01-03

You made your bed now lie on it.
You made a choice to marry her, so stay with her and make it work.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Harriet | 2013-01-02

That''s such utter rubbish, threatening to commit suicide because you don''t marry her. She blackmailed you dude, and the minute you say tell her you want out, she is going to do it again. You will have to make yourself ready for this and the choice is yours now whether you man up, or you stay in a loveless marriage. The first mistake was marrying her in the first place which was unfair on her but she did kind of bring that on herself and so I don''t really feel sorry for her there. Your girlfriend must be a strong woman because I would not stick around for a man not totally committed to me which you were not because you married somebody else. Vanishing is not an option. You are now going to have to deal with the mess you made in the first place. Not wanting to hurt anyone only ever ends up hurting yourself as you have learned. Man up, and do what you have to do. Tell someone in her family what happened before you got married, so that if she does do something stupid there will be somebody there for her but you cannot live your life by someone elses psychosis.

Reply to Harriet
Posted by: poppy | 2013-01-02

i have grown to learn that relationships are not only about love. Love is part of it. there must be something you really like or admire about your 8 year girfrien,d now wife. There must be something good that made u stay with your girlfriend for more than 8 years?You cheated on her, Period!! Now you feel guilty and i refuse to believe that you love this new woman either>  You said that you give and care too much. maybe you feel sense of responsibilty to this woman cos she is hurting by whatever reasons u did not give us. I bet this spark died after you met this other woman, and not before. well, all i can say is search deep down into heart and you will find the answers, but remember all that glitters is not gold, rather the devil you know!!!!

Reply to poppy
Posted by: gundu | 2013-01-02

ok the damaged has been done by marryung the person u not inlove to. now it time you tell her and be firm and tell her that the only reason u married her was because she was crazy abt a white wedding and u felt sorry for her ,but the love was not there.

you cannt live like this couse u only hurtng urself and her
rather u come clean and she will get over it

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