Posted by: WHY | 2009-05-26

Really confused

I met my husband 4 years ago and have been married for 3 years. I fell pregnant 6 months after our marriege and the very same day I found out I was pregnant is also the day I found out he was cheating on me. He said he has just met the girl and nothing happened so I believed him. After the birth of my baby he said he is going to a funeral at Bothaville (left on thursday) and when he came back I found a msg that was sent to another girl telling her that he is waiting for her to come and pick him up, I asked him and he said yes he was supposed to meet with the girl and go to her place but that never happened as she did not come so he went straight to Bothaville and he is very sorry and he ended the relationship with her. On the 30th of March this year I also found another msg that he sent to this girl, showed it to him and he said yes they' ve been having an affair and he did sleep with her and he apologised and asked me to give him another chance. I couldn' t as I was very angry with him so one sunday I decided to pack my staff and go home so that I can give him space but when I arrived home I asked my mom to come back with me so that we talk to him and find out what his problem is, we came back only to find him with another girl and he ended the relationship with her. Last week I found out that the girl that he sent the msg to on the 30th of March is my neighbour. My problem is there more he hurts me is there more I love him. On Saturday, I decided to ask him what is the problem that makes him cheat on me and he said I dont satisfy him but he loves me and he wants to change and make our marriege work. He is my first so I dont have experience in that area. On Sunday I found a piece of paper which has the numbers of that girl that we found him with my mom and he said he doesn' t know who wrote the number as my baby had that paper and he took it from her. What should I do, how do I move on with my life as I am so stuck on him. Please advice.

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Our expert says:
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Exactly how many last chances does he expect you to give him ? It is NOT your fault that he cares nothing about the feelings or safety of all the women he plays with --- it is HIS fault. Nothing you did made him that way, and nothing you can do will, change him. H is esentially selfish, thinking only of what pleases him. See a counsellor and plan what is best for you and the baby --- he will never be concerned with that. Taking him back only encourages him to do more of the same. Your choice is to decide for how many years youj will allow him to continue cheating you and your child. Make sure the maintenance court requires him to pay full maintenance for the child.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Realist | 2009-05-26

Why are you confused ? The creep cheated on you. That is the all time deal breaker, over forever. You cannot EVER take him back my girl. He is a user and is dishonest. You could NEVER trust him or believe what he says. Why on earth do you even bother speaking to him let alone asking him what HIS problem is.? Why do you care after what he has done to you ? Start divorce proceedings and make sure you get some real good maintenance for you and your babe. Start a new life and find someone who will appreciate you rather than waste your time on this loser. Believe me, if you stay with him, you will live a life of hell for many many years. Make the break now, get over it and carry on with your life. Believe me its for the best.

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