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Question
Posted by: Ronel | 2012/09/23

Really bad friend

I know my friend has been going through a real hard time, his boss has been putting severe pressure on him and he is not really coping. I can see that his family is also suffering, his wife and kids dont get to see him. Ive told him he needs to learn to balance his life, because at the end of the day his family will be the people who will be there even though his job is not. We are really good friends but i feel that i have become a bad person. I have been going through a bad time as well, and i needed him to be there for me. He explained that he was busy but i dont seem to be understanding because i have been there for him and now he is not there for me. I did some introspection this weekend and realised that i was actually being a real bad friend. Okay fine, I have been having issues but not to the point where anyone in my family is suffering. I called my friend last week and threatened to end our friendship indefinitely and he asked me not to do so. I feel i need to apologise and instead of asking for time i should be around to support him through what he is going through. Ive decided that i need to call him and apologise and be the person i used to be, the supportive understanding friend. He doesnt have many other friends and imabout the only one that listens to him and gives him advice whereas I have no shortage of friends. Is this the right way to go about it or should i just let the situation be, I just need him to know that I am there through thick and thin and now that he is stressed I am creating unnecessary issues that are not there.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

This sort of ugly thing happens even a the best of times, but I suspect that in these bad economic times, some nasty bosses exploit their workers all the more ruthlessly. If the situation is as you describe, then its good for you to decide maybe to adjust your expectations, and to continue being a good friend while he goes through these bad times. A good friend is worth far more than a lover. If he's unsure of what he wants, simply indicate that you'd like to be supportive, if and when he decides he wants to avail himself of that option.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/09/23

This sort of ugly thing happens even a the best of times, but I suspect that in these bad economic times, some nasty bosses exploit their workers all the more ruthlessly. If the situation is as you describe, then its good for you to decide maybe to adjust your expectations, and to continue being a good friend while he goes through these bad times. A good friend is worth far more than a lover. If he's unsure of what he wants, simply indicate that you'd like to be supportive, if and when he decides he wants to avail himself of that option.

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