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Question
Posted by: Foxy | 2009/10/29

Reali confused

Ok guys, so a few weeks ago I told u bout my boyfriend who is depressed and confused/having issues with being gay. So 4 weeks a ago he asked for space to sort himself out. We having been smsing each other and 1 or 2 phone calls, which has just seem to get worse. Last week he told me that he thinks that we are not ment to be together and that I'  m not what he wants( after A year and a half of amazing relationship) he is so cold towards me and just looks as if he wants to forget about me! 2 weeks ago I wanted him to know that I love and care for him, and that I am waiting for him to get better, his exact response was "  JUST STOP IT! I KNOW U ARE HURTING AND LOVE ME,BUT STOP IT! STOP SMSING ME THAT! STOP TELLING ME THAT U ARE WAITING FOR ME,I DONT WANT TO HEAR IT,STOP THINKING ABOUT THINGS!"  Guys, Im not one of those people who are desperate foe sumbody, but dam, just 2 days before we broke up, he saw a old gay couple, and said that was us in 20 years!!! He is on antidepressants, and is '  feeling fabulos'  , i'  m glad he is feeling better, but hoe do u just move on like that??? I feel like I dont even know him anymore!!! Things were perfect untill the depression started. I asked if we were finshed for good, and all he can say is '  IF OUR PATHS CROSS AGAIN, AND THERE IS A SPARK, THEN WE CAN TRY AGAIN'  . I mean WTF. He calims that I wasnt affectionate enough, but how the hell could I be when he kept pushing me away, I tried me bloody best! I'  ve been such a mess, trying to make sense of everything. Did I mean so little after such a great relationship. Before we broke up he seemed to be jealous all the time, asking who smsed me or who called me. He still called me 3 times a day like he always had, cuddled me every nite, and now its gone, and I must just accept it?! His therapist told him that this is all unfair on me, and he cant think about us, but needs to concentrateon himself. Almost everything that he says contradicts itself. He says he fought to be with me for a year, and now its too late for me to try be with him. Sorry guys, I dont understand depression, altho I'  ve been doing alot of reserch, and see there are alot of people going thru the EXACT same thing. I am moving on with my life, but at the same time I know him and I had sumthing specail, untill the depression started. How can he not see that its the depression making him feel these things!?

:-(((((((



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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Do, indeed, move on with your life. Th break-up is obviously upsetting for you, but shouldn't be read as a criticism OF you. It was primarily about him and his problems, of which Depression is just a part, and his inability at this time, to contribute usefully to the relationship.
Sad, but it happens to the best of us. Move on, looking forward, not backwards

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/10/29

Do, indeed, move on with your life. Th break-up is obviously upsetting for you, but shouldn't be read as a criticism OF you. It was primarily about him and his problems, of which Depression is just a part, and his inability at this time, to contribute usefully to the relationship.
Sad, but it happens to the best of us. Move on, looking forward, not backwards

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