Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-06-17


Bored yet?
President who??LOL
Anyway yes i do like him a lot and i think your right by saying that there must be some love hidden to be this hurt over stuff he does.And its not push comes to shuff,him in so far thats the problem,its his tendency to lie to me and not telling me about stuff!Ive told him many times before,rather tell me then keeping it from me,like money issues we had before!But it happened again,and again.Not in the last 2 years that i manage the money,he was away as you know!I think its a huge relieve for him not to worry over money!!He always tells me its because of his mom and dad that he is like this today.But we have choices in life!He is so negative about his life and what he has so far.Ive told him so many times that we are very fortunate,we dont have any debt.We have our own house and car paid for!He is married and have 2 kids.He is never happy with what he has!
Thats part if not all of his anger issues.He thinks he was left behind in life and does not see all his blessings,and i constantly have to remind him of this!There must be a trigger somewhere in his mind thats going to go off and then he will start realinsing all of his blessings or what am i saying.
Another thing is that he never opens up and talk to me about emosional issues.We talk about daily stuff mostly.
Its just in the end that he `s got so much baggadge.I did not realise this really before we got married.Isnt that part of being married,to talk about these things.
I feel bad talking to you about this,but theres no one else.Im a very strong minded person and sometimes perfectionistic(sp) and want things to be right.
But i dont want divorce really.I heard a old man say once that he was at a 60 year anniversary of a couple and they asked the old man if he ever thought about divorce and he said "  no,i thought about murder a lot,but never about divorce" ! He said young people get divorced to easily,so i really want to try and work on this.

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Our expert says:
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Is he lying to you, routinely, about many ordinary things ? Or is he avoiding confrontation about something deep in him about which he feels ashamed and which he feels may break the relationship with someone ( you ) who he acually loves rather a lot ? Sometimes, without realizing it, you may encourage someone to hide uncomfortable facts by the way you respond when they are revealed.
As for bein never happy with what he has, depending on his relationship with his parents, he may have been trained to consider nothing HE achieved as really satisfactory or valuable, and thus to always feel inadequate, whatever he achieved. He may have been taught that nothing is a blessing once he has it --- that blessings ae for other people.
Similarly, some of us grow up in a family where it is safe and encouraged for you to talk about things that bother you ; others grow in families where this is risky and usually leads to unpleasant consequences, and it an be had to shake habits developed in such a setting. He may find your otherwise admirable strength of character and mind as somewhat intimidating and even frightening. This is where joint marriage counselling with the right counsellor can help you to jointly work on an approach that suits both of you.

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