Our expert says:
Well, better to it the nail on the head than to hit the head on the nail. So, even when things look like they're going well, based on your previous experience, you assume they'll go sour, and start reacting to the coming Sour rather than enjoying the present good bits.
As to WHY he might cross-dress, I doubt that he could tell you, or even tell himself. We are as we are, and often find ourselves inexplicable, even when others are demanding or at least expecting explanations. If he has switched from DOING cross-dressing to ocasionally looking at pictures of it on the web, isn't that an improvement to be grateful for ? Whatever he does that hurts you, might no be intended to hurt you, and he may not even understand how or why it hurts you --- or he may feel that whatyever he does will hurt you, so not recognize any realistic options for himself to do otherwise.
How you describe your view of his anger fits well the CBT model ; and reminds us that even if one's parents deprived us of a happy childhood, we cannot get ourselves a happy childhood by being angry now --- all we can dom is to deprive opurselves of a happ adult-hood. The habit of thinking negaively and seeing very through a negaive filter can be very powerful, and a hard habit to shift --- and that is something CBT focusses on.
When you ask how to open up and start loving again, you prove that you are asking the right sort of question. But there is no simple and quick answer, and it is in psychotherapy of the CBT sort that we can explore and find such answers.
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