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Question
Posted by: anon | 2010/06/02

re1260

You are right. This has been a wake up call for both my husband and myself. I have been completely open with him and needless to say his way of dealing with it was through anger(which I guess covers up the hurt) - it is precisely his inability to express emotional intimacy that I suppose made the other attraction so meaningful. I don''t think he will ever be able to speak that language but I have found a halfway house - classical music!! I am passionate about it and he is learning the piano so hopefully it is a language that we can learn together? But there are some parts of me that will have to seek that intimacy/connection in other things - is this normal? Thank you for your help.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Anger and hurt are naural, of course. Remember that many man have dificulty in expressing emotions - that doesn't mean they don't have them, just that by nature and training as a child, they don't express them well. Sometimes you need to help with the translation, and recognize the emotions as they get shown in other ways. That he is learing the piano is indeed promising for both of you - make sure he knows how much you appreciate whatever you do appreciate, and music can be a useful extra aid to communication between you

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/06/02

Anger and hurt are naural, of course. Remember that many man have dificulty in expressing emotions - that doesn't mean they don't have them, just that by nature and training as a child, they don't express them well. Sometimes you need to help with the translation, and recognize the emotions as they get shown in other ways. That he is learing the piano is indeed promising for both of you - make sure he knows how much you appreciate whatever you do appreciate, and music can be a useful extra aid to communication between you

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