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Question
Posted by: Tammi | 2010/06/01

re1204

Thanks Doc. So if I develop feelings for my shrink(which I am embrassed to admit I might have) would he have to end the therapy relationship?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Not necessarily. It happens more often in therapy than either or both parties notice. It is important to disuss this with your shrink ( who should be well trained enough to understand and know how to work with this situation ). If you keep this to yourself, you could come to focus so much on this issue as to limit your ability to benefit from other important aspects of the therapy.
One of the broadly analytical concepts many people find helpful is recognizing an element in this sort of positive affection for one's shrink as Transference. This can include the idea that part of such feelings may be a transferring onto the shrink of strong feelings you earlier had for oher very important people in your life. Looking at these elements, understanding them, and working through them, can be useful. Of course, not everything is transference, and part of the feelings may be because the therapist is just a really nice and comforting person.
Usual there would be no need to end the therapy relationship, as a good shrink can use the situation to help you learn usefully and progress further. What goes wrong at times, ( and we recently had someone post her story here, who had found her shrink developed strong feelings for her, and sent her inappropriately affectionate e-mails outside of therapy, and similar unprofessional acts ) is where the therapist loses his/her OWN boundaries and becomes emotionally involved in an inappropriate and unhelpful manner.
So, discuss this with your shrink - no need to feel embarrassed

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Our users say:
Posted by: Tammi | 2010/06/01

Will certainly try - thanks so much!

Reply to Tammi
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/06/01

Not necessarily. It happens more often in therapy than either or both parties notice. It is important to disuss this with your shrink ( who should be well trained enough to understand and know how to work with this situation ). If you keep this to yourself, you could come to focus so much on this issue as to limit your ability to benefit from other important aspects of the therapy.
One of the broadly analytical concepts many people find helpful is recognizing an element in this sort of positive affection for one's shrink as Transference. This can include the idea that part of such feelings may be a transferring onto the shrink of strong feelings you earlier had for oher very important people in your life. Looking at these elements, understanding them, and working through them, can be useful. Of course, not everything is transference, and part of the feelings may be because the therapist is just a really nice and comforting person.
Usual there would be no need to end the therapy relationship, as a good shrink can use the situation to help you learn usefully and progress further. What goes wrong at times, ( and we recently had someone post her story here, who had found her shrink developed strong feelings for her, and sent her inappropriately affectionate e-mails outside of therapy, and similar unprofessional acts ) is where the therapist loses his/her OWN boundaries and becomes emotionally involved in an inappropriate and unhelpful manner.
So, discuss this with your shrink - no need to feel embarrassed

Reply to cybershrink

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