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Question
Posted by: Sass Diva | 2010/06/28

RE: Why Why Why

Hi All,

So i have a dillema and don''t know how to deal with it so i hope perhaps Cybershrink you and our fellow readers can help. I am a manic depressant and i am currently on Ci-Lift, Stressam, Azor and Adco-Zolpidiem just to get me to calm down during the evening. I can be happy the one moment and slit cutting the next the mood just change and i feel this is Bi-polar. On saturday there was a family fight and i took 10 sleeping pills and 10 25mg phenagans and i passed out and only woke up yesterday morning not remembering what had happened to my Saturday. I have however met a wonderful guy in this process and we have known each other for 3 weeks and he has been very supportive although i am pushing him away more and more each day. Last weekend he was away in Durban for 6 days and i accused him of having a family down there and he does not really care and things like that so basically i did everything in my power to push him away so that he would not want me. He says he has everything that he needs in life but yet lives in a bachelor flat that you can''t swing a cat in and all this at 37. Should he not be stable, he says living in pretoria is only temporary and he has everything in Natal and will eventually move down there again, however on several occassions he has asked me to marry him via sms but i have not taken him seriously because how can you say the I love you words within a matter of 3 weeks? Thats a bit premature don''t you think? Last night he smsed me and asked if i would please come past his place tonight because he has something to ask me and we need to sit down and map our future together and i must start taking pre-natal pills. I am age 30 and i don''t want children not now not ever. The other thing that gets me about him is if there is something i want i must pay for it but if there is something he wants its ok then money can be spent. Imagine if we married. Whenever i go somewhere or do something he wants proof that i was there and phones the place to make sure. I feel this is too much for me too fast. Do you think i should meet with him tonight or just call it quits. I am also a self mutilator and have 152 cuts on my body. Please help.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi SD,
Of course there are other situaions in which one might show such rapidly shifting moods, especially when combined with urges towards unwise behaviours. Only a careful assesment by a well-trained and experienced pychiatrist might clarify if there are other elements at play, and other variants on treatment that might help.
Of the meds you list, 3 are sedatives, one an anidepressant -there isn't a mood-stabilizing drug amongst them, and they might help, whether Lithium or any of a considerable number of alternatives.
I agree that marriage proposals within 3 weeks of meeting, are never a sign of great emotional stability.
I' not sure what "pre-natal pills" are, but he sounds ominously impetuous, and you're wise to be cautious. Take your time - there is absolutely no need to hurry in such matters.
And with your self-mutilation / cutting problem as well, I do hope you are being trweated by a proper specialist shrink, and not only by a GP, as hey are not trained to handle these more complex problems


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Our users say:
Posted by: Sass Diva | 2010/06/28

Thank you so much for the caring advice.

At Cybershrink what mood stabilizer would you recommend i am only seeing a GP now. But the minute somebody wants to move into my space or invade i get the flight mode and i don''t want to see that person again... Am i wrong?

Reply to Sass Diva
Posted by: Liza | 2010/06/28

I would say call it quits and rather focus on your own happiness. How can you make anyone happy if you''re not happy yourself and happy about yourself? This guy also sounds VERY controlling which will only get worse if the relationship were to continue. And just because you cut yourself is no reason to settle for less in a relationship.

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: Lindiwe | 2010/06/28

Girl you need help and FAST! I think you need to seek councilling as you have very disturbing self destructive ways!!! save yourself my dear!

Reply to Lindiwe
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/06/28

Hi SD,
Of course there are other situaions in which one might show such rapidly shifting moods, especially when combined with urges towards unwise behaviours. Only a careful assesment by a well-trained and experienced pychiatrist might clarify if there are other elements at play, and other variants on treatment that might help.
Of the meds you list, 3 are sedatives, one an anidepressant -there isn't a mood-stabilizing drug amongst them, and they might help, whether Lithium or any of a considerable number of alternatives.
I agree that marriage proposals within 3 weeks of meeting, are never a sign of great emotional stability.
I' not sure what "pre-natal pills" are, but he sounds ominously impetuous, and you're wise to be cautious. Take your time - there is absolutely no need to hurry in such matters.
And with your self-mutilation / cutting problem as well, I do hope you are being trweated by a proper specialist shrink, and not only by a GP, as hey are not trained to handle these more complex problems


Reply to cybershrink

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