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Question
Posted by: Concerned mom. | 2010/04/08

Re: What is right for my child.

Thank you very much for the advice you have given me so far. I can assure you that i am not wanting to keep my daughter from her father. We were never married so there was no divorce settlement to complicate things more. You say thats its very rare for a mother to get sole custody these days,what do you mean by sole custody?I am very happy to let her dad have her every second weekend and share holidays,does this mean i wont get these terms?When i say that i wont consider joint custody i meant that i wont allow it to be one week with me one week with her father!I am afraid that sort of arrangement will not provide a stable enviroment for my child which i believe is really important for her to be happy. Please correct me if i am wrong in saying so. Her father and i were together for 5 years and within the realtionship we broke up countless times due to his drinking and partying habits and his lack of resposiblity. Since then he is now engaged to be married to a lady with a child two months older then my daughter. While i know he is a good father and loves our daughter im not sure if i can trust him to be responsible with her as in not have friends over and drink around her as i have no proof that he has not changed his previous ways and i also have to no proof has changed!Hence i feel relvant to put my trust in him to look after her propley while i am not there!Please advise!I really appreciate your advice as everyone i speak to seems to give me a diffrent answer about what i should do that is why i have seeked your professional advice in lines of the law.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageFamily law expert

Joint legal custody,is where both parents share the right to make long-term decisions about the raising of a child and key aspects of the child's welfare, with physical custody awarded to one parent.

I would suggest a scenario where the parties shall act as co-guardians of the child as provided for in Sections 18(2)(c), 18(3), 18(4) and 18(5) of the Children's Act 35 of 2005 (as amended)(“Children’s Act”) and shall be co-holders of the parental responsibilities and rights of care and contact as referred to in Section 18(2)(a) and (b) of the Children's Act subject to the the fact that you shall be the parent of permanent primary residence and Defendant the parent of alternate residence, with visitation times etc. stipulated in the agreement, i.e every second weekend, holiday etc.

Bertus Preller
www.divorceattorney.co.za
info@divorceattorney.co.za

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: family law expert | 2010/04/09

Joint legal custody,is where both parents share the right to make long-term decisions about the raising of a child and key aspects of the child's welfare, with physical custody awarded to one parent.

I would suggest a scenario where the parties shall act as co-guardians of the child as provided for in Sections 18(2)(c), 18(3), 18(4) and 18(5) of the Children's Act 35 of 2005 (as amended)(“Children’s Act”) and shall be co-holders of the parental responsibilities and rights of care and contact as referred to in Section 18(2)(a) and (b) of the Children's Act subject to the the fact that you shall be the parent of permanent primary residence and Defendant the parent of alternate residence, with visitation times etc. stipulated in the agreement, i.e every second weekend, holiday etc.

Bertus Preller
www.divorceattorney.co.za
info@divorceattorney.co.za

Reply to family law expert
Posted by: G-Dad | 2010/04/08

If the child currently live with you and you were never married then by default you are the custodian parent, the father can also dispute the default status and could request shared residence and responsibilities and rights, if he only see the child every second weekend and holidays then there is a good change the FA would keep the access status the same, shared residence believe it or not work with some people, it take a short while for the children to adjust but some of them do extremely well, because now they have equal access to both parents.

Reply to G-Dad

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