Posted by: Healing | 2009-01-21

Re: Quotation

Looks like you need a smile in your life Doc... So many problems for you to try &  help people with everyday.

This is my contribution :)


Superman wears Chuck Norris underpants.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris’  enemies, just check the extinct species list.

When Chuck Norris falls out of a boat he dosn'  t get wet the water gets Chuck Norrised.

When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn'  t push himself up, he pushes the world down

The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn'  t even come close.

Chuck Norris doesn'  t read books, he just stares them down until he gets the information he wants out of them.

Chuck Norris is suing NBC for their show Law &  Order claiming it is the trademarked names of his left and right legs.

There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

The Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris every night.

Chuck Norris turns on a night light when he goes to bed. It'  s not because he'  s scared of the dark - it'  s because the dark is scared of him.

Darth Vader dresses up as Chuck Norris for Halloween.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Some kids piss their names in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name in concrete.

A handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Aliens do exist. They'  re just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them.
JFK'  s head exploded out of sheer amazement.

There is no Life or Death, only Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicking you in the face.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars that'  s why there are no signs of life.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris'  beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris'  beard is barbed wire soaked in ox blood and held together by the souls of mortals.

Chuck Norris doesn'  t sleep, he waits.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are -|- roaches and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

There is no '  Ctrl'  button on Chuck Norris'  computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Who would win the race between Ironman and Superman to the moon?
Chuck Norris

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Our expert says:
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: } I'm still surprised that so many power jokes should have evolved, about one of the worst actors and elast amusing men in human history.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Bongs | 2009-01-22

I never watched Texas Ranger - hated it. But I was thrilled when they ended it on eTV. Believe it or not, some people miss it.

Reply to Bongs
Posted by: Healing | 2009-01-21

I think it' s the irony surrounding his success which makes him so popular.
The man we all love to hate &  make fun of... Kind of like Paris Hilton :)

Reply to Healing

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