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Posted by: Anon | 2012/05/29

Re Post: Desperate

Thank you for the advice, I am planning to tell my wife about the affair and possible baby on the way. I would just like to clarify something. What I did was wrong and nothing can justify my cheating and disrespect towards my wife and I am willing take full responsibility for my actions. However, I am justified to be angry and bitter over being deceived and robbed from making a choice of whether I wanted to be a father or not. The woman I had an affair with new from the beginning that I had no intension to leave my wife for her and she was okay with it. I was honest and upfront with her from the start. I never lied nor did I lead her on. (In fact she is the one who lied to me) The biggest lesson I learned is that cheating can never resolve anything and there is a price to pay for not using your head.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It is refreshing to hear from someone whom is actually prepared to admit fault and responsibility for bad decision. It does indeed make sense for you to feel aggrieved if the woman has inded cheated you by misleading you and making a pregnancy happen when she had assured you it could not. Maybe its a sore case of a cheater having been cheated - I have often pointed out that a major and usually overlooked risk of cheating is that the sort of person prepared to cheat on someone else with you, is likely to also cheat you.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Tanya | 2012/05/29

Anon - It must have been difficult for you to put, so eloquently, into words these posts you have shared. There are not many men out there that would open up to this degree. Good for you! You have received some very good advice especially from Cybershrink.
You said previously that ''this woman'' was in an abusive relationship before, so she is not married? I''m aware this is not actually your problem at the moment, but feel that these days the following are all lumped together:- f**k buddies, friends with benefits, boyfriend, girlfriend, relationship, engagement and marriage. Marriage should stand entirely on its own its so special.
Nontheless, your wife will appreciate your honesty (eventually, it may take time) and ensure that the baby is yours for sure. Wish you, your wife and children all the best for the future.

Reply to Tanya
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/05/29

It is refreshing to hear from someone whom is actually prepared to admit fault and responsibility for bad decision. It does indeed make sense for you to feel aggrieved if the woman has inded cheated you by misleading you and making a pregnancy happen when she had assured you it could not. Maybe its a sore case of a cheater having been cheated - I have often pointed out that a major and usually overlooked risk of cheating is that the sort of person prepared to cheat on someone else with you, is likely to also cheat you.

Reply to cybershrink

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