advertisement
Question
Posted by: Anon | 2012/05/24

RE: Post 685 DISAPPOINTED

Dear CyberShrink,

This is in-fact the first time I have ever posted this sort of question for help on-line and it is most definately not about me. I am not making it about me either, I am relatively a positive person and work from home alongside my husband. I am absolutely the complete and total opposite from my sister.

The times that my sister has sent me disturbing emails of this nature, I generally respond to her with solutions, and try instil positive outcomes for actions that she could take. I try and explain that should she make different choices in life things will come right.

I simply asked for some advise on how to respond to her, because she sounds so depressed if I responded with solutions etc. it may make her feel worse.

And yes, she should be seeking this advice herself, but unfortunately, she is at the point of no-return and is simply and most likely too embarrased, cannot get off work, etc. etc. etc. etc.

I genuinely thought by asking an honest (genuine please help me) question that you CyberShrink could give me one or two pointers, on how to respond to my sister.

I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED WITH THE PJREVIOUS RESPONSE !

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I don't see what you are so disappointed about - re-read your own original message - it is VERY ambiguously phrased, and dopes indeed start by saying something about your sister, and then proceeds to speak as though you are talking about yourself. I was asking for clarity about this ambiguity, but I think my advice still makes sense. Obviously there are limits if the problem reside entirely within your sister's life - technically, if there is good reason to believe that she might be a real danger to herself and/or to others, there are mechanisms by which, with the aid of a doctor ( has she seen a shrink or GP ? ) assessment and maybe even treatment, could be supplied compulsorily, though obviously such methods are only used in extreme situations.
Otherwise one is left, as always in life, with the alternative of just continuing, in whatever ways are available, to seek to persuade the person to be sensible and seek help for themselves.
Obviously, from these further comments of yours, you have tried long and hard to persuade her to do so, with maybe more emphasis than necessary on providing solutions yourself, when she may need proper treatment of Depression ( or whatever other underlying conditionm may be operating here ) before she is able to follow even really good advice. Also, a shrink would, apart from dealing with the primary underlying disorder, try to help her identify the solutions for herself, because a person will often try hard to prove that a solution THEY worked out, will work, but will not try to make the same solution work, if they see it as your idea and not theirs.
Sounds like she is making excuses for not getting the help she so obviously needs - surely she could get time off work to see a doctor, and for any needed treatment.
I deliberately did not give you specific "pointers" or prefabricated suggestions as to what to say to your sister, because there are no such suggestions that would work, and this is not the way to help her.
All one can do is to find ways to persuade her to see a shrink for assessment and treatment. If she had a serious stomach ache that seemed very like appendicitis, one wouldn't look for clever things to say to her, but would simply concentrate on trying to get her to see a surgeon - the same applies here.
Ultimately she is responsible for her own fate, and if she refuses to seek help when she so obviously nweeds it, she will meet the consequences of doing so.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2012/05/24

Anon, telling someone who is significantly depressed to think positively or take positive action is a bit like putting a Band-Aid on a broken leg. I''ve been there. Even if you want to do those things you are not capable of it, such is the nature of the illness. Your sister need professional help, as soon as possible.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/05/24

I don't see what you are so disappointed about - re-read your own original message - it is VERY ambiguously phrased, and dopes indeed start by saying something about your sister, and then proceeds to speak as though you are talking about yourself. I was asking for clarity about this ambiguity, but I think my advice still makes sense. Obviously there are limits if the problem reside entirely within your sister's life - technically, if there is good reason to believe that she might be a real danger to herself and/or to others, there are mechanisms by which, with the aid of a doctor ( has she seen a shrink or GP ? ) assessment and maybe even treatment, could be supplied compulsorily, though obviously such methods are only used in extreme situations.
Otherwise one is left, as always in life, with the alternative of just continuing, in whatever ways are available, to seek to persuade the person to be sensible and seek help for themselves.
Obviously, from these further comments of yours, you have tried long and hard to persuade her to do so, with maybe more emphasis than necessary on providing solutions yourself, when she may need proper treatment of Depression ( or whatever other underlying conditionm may be operating here ) before she is able to follow even really good advice. Also, a shrink would, apart from dealing with the primary underlying disorder, try to help her identify the solutions for herself, because a person will often try hard to prove that a solution THEY worked out, will work, but will not try to make the same solution work, if they see it as your idea and not theirs.
Sounds like she is making excuses for not getting the help she so obviously needs - surely she could get time off work to see a doctor, and for any needed treatment.
I deliberately did not give you specific "pointers" or prefabricated suggestions as to what to say to your sister, because there are no such suggestions that would work, and this is not the way to help her.
All one can do is to find ways to persuade her to see a shrink for assessment and treatment. If she had a serious stomach ache that seemed very like appendicitis, one wouldn't look for clever things to say to her, but would simply concentrate on trying to get her to see a surgeon - the same applies here.
Ultimately she is responsible for her own fate, and if she refuses to seek help when she so obviously nweeds it, she will meet the consequences of doing so.

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement