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Question
Posted by: Anonymous | 2008/10/02

re post 670

I mastrubate in secret cause my husband complains its to time consumming for me to reach an orgasm now if I can do it for myself why not? infact last night he asked me why nothing happend after a really long period of time, but I couldn' t tell him that I picked up he doesn' t really want to do it so I just said I don' t know? And when alone I only have to satify myself and I' m bit scared that he would reject me if I want it to often and I won' t take it very good.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

I would encourage you to tell him exactly how you are feeling, i.e. that you aren't able to focus on your pleasure because you're worrying about him getting bored. It is normal for a woman to take around 15 minutes to reach orgasm, so if it's around this length of time, you fall within the average. Even if you don't, it's just how your body works and it's okay for you to feel free to enjoy pleasure too. Perhaps you could assist him from time to time. I think that you 'sorting yourself out' because of fears of his complains is likely to be bad news for the intimacy in the relationship. I think that secrets create distance and once discovered, trust is really difficult to win back. I would encourage you to discuss with him how his response makes you feel and how it is likely to result in distance between you. Perhaps you can also help him to think through how to manage this issue.

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