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Question
Posted by: dw | 2012-07-03

re post 528

How would I broach the subject regarding the gardener and his meals with my boyfriend. As doc says , I need to be calm and not resentful, so therefore I need to do it now before it becomes a big deal. Doc, how do I even start a conversation like this? Should I say something along the lines of "  so what is the agreement with the gardener and you regarding meals?"  Thanks.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I can't, obviously, write a script for you. Maybe start by calmly saying that you're not quite clear about how the agreement between you is working out, and for a start are there any issues about how its working out in practice, which have been troubling you ? If he mentions some, consider them and discuss them. Then mention that one of the things that bothered you somewhat was that while you don't want to be mean to the gardener, when you buy something special and particularly expensive for the pair of you to eat, it worries you to share that with the gardener, as you haven't budgeted for that, and how does he feel about this ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-07-03

I can't, obviously, write a script for you. Maybe start by calmly saying that you're not quite clear about how the agreement between you is working out, and for a start are there any issues about how its working out in practice, which have been troubling you ? If he mentions some, consider them and discuss them. Then mention that one of the things that bothered you somewhat was that while you don't want to be mean to the gardener, when you buy something special and particularly expensive for the pair of you to eat, it worries you to share that with the gardener, as you haven't budgeted for that, and how does he feel about this ?

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