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Question
Posted by: nn | 2010/01/11

Re: post 3295 - today i get the reason from him as to why he cheated

He told me today that he was unsure about me. I have so many guy friends and he does not know what I do with them or what I have done with them in the past. Why would I want to be with him when I can have so many other guy friends. Yes I do have a lot of guy friends and many of them I have been friends with for years and have not even kissed them nevermind slept with them. And every now and then we chat. They all know about the guy in my life and I do not hide my friends away from him. Yet he seems to think that I am sleeping with all my guy friends and that I have an alterior motive. That is why he did what he did.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Being "unsure" is absolutely not in the slightest way any excuse for cheating. Indeed, it's a pathetic excuse, and one that gives no reason to expect him to start behaving like a man or remaining faithful

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Our users say:
Posted by: qwerty | 2010/01/12

That is a very poor excuse, and very convenient after the fact, don' t you think? " The only reason I cheated on you, is because I thought you might be cheating on me."  Huh??! Who does that? He did what he did because of him, and he' s trying to make it better by making it your fault.
I can understand him feeling threatened by and insecure about you spending a lot of time with other men by yourself - but as Whena points out, this could have been addressed through good communication. I' m sure the relationship wasn' t perfect, and he was probably feeling unhappy because of your multiple friendships with other guys, but that shouldn' t give him a license to cheat.

Reply to qwerty
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/01/12

Being "unsure" is absolutely not in the slightest way any excuse for cheating. Indeed, it's a pathetic excuse, and one that gives no reason to expect him to start behaving like a man or remaining faithful

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Whena | 2010/01/11

tit for tat is a very destructive reaction.

I think both of you need to go for some counselling as I believe you are not properly communicating

Reply to Whena

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