Posted by: PAL | 2008-12-12

RE Post 1553

To Cybershrink

Yes it is very hurtful and confusing for me and the children.

Looking back in hindsight, I think she had displayed similar symptoms in the past, though nowhere near as dramatic.

Just thought it to be mood swings etc.

When we were with the counselling psychologist it was as a couple and for working on our relationship. Ironically, there had been some behavioural changes eg drinking and smoking and the need for her to have her ladies nights out etc, that had put pressure on our relationship. So it was a matter of us trying to understand our changing wants and needs and learning to communicate with each other better.

The counselling psychologist did feel that my wife was being like a "  rebellious teenager"  and doing some of those things to work me up etc. But there was also a feeling that my wife was not being forth right and open when at counselling, not trying to make it work etc. For example I found out about her gambling problem after she left me, even though it had started before and it was never mentioned at counselling.

I actually spoke to the counselling psychologist today and she also feels that what my wife is doing and the sudden change in behaviour does sound like a manic phase.

The irony is that in the divorce papers she is wanting primary caregiver status, even though the kids are not with her all the time. Yes I think that I should bring up the possible state of her mental health, maybe it will force her to have an evaluation or something done.

Will have to wait and see if she comes to her "  senses"  or hits a very depressive state and one can then get her help.

To Noza

Thanks for the kind words. Yes it is not a nice thought that she may already be sleeping around etc and the untold emotional and physical damage it could cause not only her, but to me and the children aswell.


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It is beginning to fit a manic picture, possibly complicated by a personality disorder that gets out of control when she is manic ) You need good legal advice, and she should be notified that you will very strongly oppose any suggestion that she have custody of the kids on the grounds of her precarious mental state, unreliable behaviour, and her neglect of them at times like this. That may require a full assessment of her mental state, which should be done by a competent and neutral expert, who would listen to her and listen carefully to you, and not simply act automatically on her behalf. If she can be pushed towards a clinical assessment and treatment, things could settle down valuably, but that would probably need mood-stabilizing drugs and some counselling. Good luck !

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