Posted by: cally | 2009-04-06

re: post 1247

Thank you Doc. He' s also got a huge alcohol problem, he started drinking as a PRE-TEEN and has abused it ever since (bad parents?), so I' m worried that his situation at present is a combination of alcohol abuse, depression and social phobia. I' ve refused point blank to buy him alcohol (which led to much begging, pleading, attempted rationalisation, then downright sulking), and I' ve told him that we need to find him help for his problems. He seems to try bypassing his problems by going on about how I also have problems (which I don' t deny, but they are problems such as not going to the doctor when ill {as I' m often ill, am on immunosuppressants for a chronic illness}, not eating properly {who does?}, and similar). He also keeps saying how " it isn' t easy"  and he' s " in a bad place" , but hell, life isn' t easy! And everyone has issues that they need to deal with and rise above!
But thank you for the advise regarding the support group. I' ll contact them and see what I can organise. Hopefully I can sort this out.

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Our expert says:
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That is quite a common combination, all of which CAN respond to treatment, if he truly decides to try hard to get right. Maybe if you go to the doctor about your own problems, this will not only obviously benefit you, but will prevent him from using that as an excuse for not finding help for himself. If you eat better, similarly, good for you, and he must buck up his own diet and self-care. "It's not easy ?" nothing worthwhile is easy, and if it was easy he'd have done it long ago. But not trying at all is far too easy. OK, he's in a bad place ? So what ? GEt help and get to a better place.Let us know how it goes.

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