Posted by: hi Bill its debs again | 2009-03-13

re husband not wanting sex

hi there
Hello Bill and others
thanks for the replies. hmm bill what are we going to do? you wanna go for coffee ha ha only joking! I got married in 2005 as well so we have a long road ahead!
Yip and to JP dressing up does work but as we said, who wants to always initiate. I have learnt to live with it, and do not bitch and moan constantly. i have my moments when now and then after a glass of wine - I do raise the subject in a really nice way.
Maybe some people are just happy without it? shame for people like us though. like you say Bill it is all about feeling needed and secure not just all about the xex itself. As a woman it makes one feel unattractive. Poor us a sexless week end! I will drink lots of coffee and read my books. he will watch golf and chill out. have a good one!! hope you get lucky out there!!

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Our expert says:
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The effects of not having sex due to erectile dysfunction or desire difficulty in men has been found to leave the patrner feeling unloved ,feeling unattractive to her partner ,feels lost and loving touch stops .

It is therefore imperative that you and your partner seek urgent help to addres the issues before they lead to irreplaceable breakdown in the marriage Visit your nearest sexologist or GP.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Mmmmmm | 2009-03-17

I' ll bet(a BIG sum!) on Low Testosterone levels - in both cases.
Not wanting to see someone about this is just plain selfish.

Reply to Mmmmmm
Posted by: DEBS | 2009-03-16

Hi there

I do know exactly what you are saying. I have done exactly the same in the past - acted not interested at all. i think it is due to the fact that we are at our wits end and will try everything and anything. know exactly what you mean though !
Yip an affair is often a very tempting though and I have even told him that if he doesnt buck up his ideas that I am seriously going to consider having one. but alas... nothing works! i think that some people - male and female, just have a very low sex drive and are happy with the more simple things in life. To NIR and RP - thank you for your replies ! NIR I hope that you are having fun now! and to RP - you have my sympathies! thanks once again for all the replies - DEBS !

Reply to DEBS
Posted by: Bill | 2009-03-14

Hi Debs

Under our circumstances coffe sounds vveerryy ttempting! I just read the last reply on your previous post and it is very ironic. Because now and then my wife pulls away, and it hurts real bad, instead of saying ' I' m not in the mood, or I' m tired, or I have a headache"  she just pulls away. Well last night I found myself sleeping on my side of the bed, and this morning when she cuddled up behind me, I instinctively pulled away and gave her some of her own medicine back!
So I find I am starting to withdraw and not need sex for now. I know it sounds childish to play tit for tat, but I need emotional fullfillment and would rather not have sex when I am unsure about my partners actual reasons for having sex. Is she doing it because she wants to or needs to? Or is she having sex with me just to keep me happy?
Am I being silly about it, or must we leave our partners due to incopatibility, or maybe a good affair will be a wake up call to those who have no motivation to reciprocate the love and tenderness that people like us live on.

Reply to Bill
Posted by: NIR | 2009-03-13


Should I say sorry!!!

I was in the same boat. Only got it when she wanted to, and after 21 years enough is enough. I have decided to part ways.

You are still young and if it is somewhat small now, imagine a few more years down the line, how frustrating it' s going to get. Then you may even try to have an affair. It best to deal with it now and be good friends and letting it go and be enemies later.

All The best.

Reply to NIR
Posted by: RP | 2009-03-13

Err.. Debs, these things dont just come right. You got kids yet? Well dont go down THAT road till you deal with this. Some things are not-negotiable...I am in your boat too but its way too late for me as I have kids etc, so its not easy to threaten and think of finding my ' ideal'  match...

Reply to RP

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