Posted by: Gert | 2012-02-02

RE How to deal with his past that affects our relationhip - gender specific?

Hi CS,
It the tendency not to open up gender specific? How does a man have to deal with a woman in similar situation with Ntombi''s situation. My woman cant get emotionally involved and would general resist therapy. how does one have to cope in the meantime when patiently waiting for her to open up? Yes she is slowly talking about these things, yet i am not allowed to engage or advise (who am i to, anyway) but just to listen as i am told. how do i know if it is not just a sham and the relationship is gone? what is the litmus test? Help, i am too frustrated while patiently tiptoeing around these issues and being somehow neglected. Gert S

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Absolutely not ender specific, but research has shown that men are more likely to find it difficult to talk about emotional problems than women. But some men find it easy and some women cant do it. Sadly, in a situation such as you describe, there is no litmus test. It is fair to say to such a person that you want to be helpful and sympathetic, but can't fairly be expected to tiptoe through a minefield not knowing which mines are buried where
A person like your friend I think should at least be prepared to claify her no-go areas

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