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Question
Posted by: Grant | 2011/05/16

Re: Depressed Wife

Hi
Hope you can help? My wife suffers from Depression, she is on Medicine for it but lately it does not seem to work, she has started drinking and then gets even more depressed, some nights she threatens she is going to kill herself, to add to the injury I work out of the country and can’ t afford to come back at this stage because of finances.
We have a son that is extremely disobedient and gives his mother a hard time, we threaten him with taking his stuff away and have in the past but he just carries on and does not worry at all.
At the end of the year we moved away from our home town to a place we had bought thinking it would be the best for them because we stayed in my in-laws house with no space or privacy. our son has been put into a special class in school because he just does not work with and even the teachers have given up, we have taken him for occupational therapy and reading classes before but it has not helped.
Lately he ignores everything his mother tells him and when I talk to him he just says sorry but does what he wants now my wife is blaming herself for moving him.
Can you please advise me where in Margate area I can get help for my wife and my son, I think he needs to see a child psychologist and my wife a normal psychologist?
Hope you can help?
Thank you

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Alcohol is a profoundly depressing drug in itself, and it interferes with the effectiveness o any antidepressant medication one is taking, and probably enhances the side-effects. You don't mention the age of your son, which may be very relevant.
I think Occupational Therapy is GROSSLY exaggerated in terms of value and effectiveness in SA, for some odd reason, and it is far too often offered expensively as a therapy in situations for which it has no demonstrated value.
Its maybe a pity of your wife and child in their new place are distant from family and friends, as it could be useful to have people like that to rely on to keep an eye on both of them. However, of course your wife shouldn't blame herself for moving him - like many things in life, it seemed like a good idea at the time. One aims to learn from errors, and to make better decisions later, based on such experiences.
Unfortunately it's not possible for me or us at H24 to keep track of all the relevant shrinks and other health professionals in SA, where they practise and what they're especially good at.
It does indeed sound like a good idea for the boy to see a child psychologist ( who, if any good, would also see his mother for information, and to advise her on devising a discipline structure for the boy which you would endorse when you are home, so he faces a consistent and fair system of rules and punishments, dealing with important issues and not bothering about the small stuff.
And yes, it would help for her to see an adult psychologist for assessment and advice, too.
The school your boy is at should surely be able to recommend some local child psychologists they have worked with and found useful ; and may also know of a good local adult psychologist ; a GP would also be able to advise, if she has one.

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: Lu | 2011/05/20

Go onto the Mediclinic Website, You can filter different provinces, area''s, hospitals, doctors and specialists.

Good Luck!

Reply to Lu
Posted by: Grant | 2011/05/17

Hi
Do you know off a web site that can tell me were to find a Psycologist?

Reply to Grant
Posted by: Grant | 2011/05/16

Hi
I have tried to find a child psychologist in the area but can''t seem to find one but I have not stopped looking. my son is 11 yrs old and like I said he thinks he runs the house, to tell you the truth I think this is a big part of my wifes problems.

She won''t talk to me about it and when I say she should go see someone she tells me nobody can help her, how would I go about getting her to see someone.
Thank you

Reply to Grant
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/05/16

Alcohol is a profoundly depressing drug in itself, and it interferes with the effectiveness o any antidepressant medication one is taking, and probably enhances the side-effects. You don't mention the age of your son, which may be very relevant.
I think Occupational Therapy is GROSSLY exaggerated in terms of value and effectiveness in SA, for some odd reason, and it is far too often offered expensively as a therapy in situations for which it has no demonstrated value.
Its maybe a pity of your wife and child in their new place are distant from family and friends, as it could be useful to have people like that to rely on to keep an eye on both of them. However, of course your wife shouldn't blame herself for moving him - like many things in life, it seemed like a good idea at the time. One aims to learn from errors, and to make better decisions later, based on such experiences.
Unfortunately it's not possible for me or us at H24 to keep track of all the relevant shrinks and other health professionals in SA, where they practise and what they're especially good at.
It does indeed sound like a good idea for the boy to see a child psychologist ( who, if any good, would also see his mother for information, and to advise her on devising a discipline structure for the boy which you would endorse when you are home, so he faces a consistent and fair system of rules and punishments, dealing with important issues and not bothering about the small stuff.
And yes, it would help for her to see an adult psychologist for assessment and advice, too.
The school your boy is at should surely be able to recommend some local child psychologists they have worked with and found useful ; and may also know of a good local adult psychologist ; a GP would also be able to advise, if she has one.

Reply to cybershrink

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