Our expert says:
I'm pleased you have those good things, but of course none of them provide good or easy relationships ( though sometimes, if one doesn't have them, one might think they would ).
Its good of you to be helping your mom, but its absurd and selfish for her to expect you either to stay at home and refuse social invitations, or to expect you to take her along.
Why on earth can't a grown woman enjoy an occasional quiet evening at home on her own ? Why does she think she needs babysitting every night ? Why does she need "looking after " ?
If she is seriously disabled or needs constant health care that might be different, but you don't mention that, and apparently she stays at home quite fine during the day while you're at work ? If she had health needs, you could hire a caregiver for the times when you need to go out, but this really doesn't seem to be the situation you're describing.
Of course you need to be free to live your own life. And of course your brother should share the burden, if there actually needs to be such a burden. It sounds as though she is just being selfish and determined to undermine any possibility of your enjoying a personal relationship of your own.
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